Servant or friend?

When someone suddenly drop by your home, which comes to your mind – being a host first or being a friend first?

To be a host, you need to prepare your house, cleaning and getting food and drink all ready. To be a friend, you are excited to fellowship and converse, desiring to know more of your friend and strengthen that relationship.

Actually, it all depends on what kind of friends you have. If your friends are the picky and inquisitive types, then being a host is better. They come for the food, inspect your house so as to make gossip and mostly to come and ask you to do favor for them. But, by and large people visit others because they value their friendship and to find out how our friends are getting on in life. Fellowship and conservation then is more important.

This thought cross my mind as I reflect about what took place last week over the National Day holiday when my daughter invited her cell’s friend for a sleep over. Gosh! My first thought was to get the necessary food and drinks for them, what to prepare for breakfast and whether our house was clean and tidy. I guess my wife has that thought in mind too. When the friends came, I became a bit agitated when none of my family members prepare drinks for them. “What kind of host are we?” So, I need to take charge. … [Little did we know that actually the friends brought along a lot of food].

But, my wife did a better job. She talked to 2 of them in the kitchen. That cool me down a bit and so I casually participated in the conservation. Then I just excused myself into the study room and listens to sermons on Youtube.

…

Then, it all became clear on this passage about Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42

³⁸ Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” ⁴¹ But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; ⁴² but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

Some preachers say that Jesus was saying to Martha that worship must come first before service. It is the “being” before the “doing”. For me, I now understand what Jesus was saying, HE values my friendship more than my service. He is not talking about worship, singing praise, praying, Bible reading or even convening a worship service when they visited Martha’s house.

“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15)

Mary has chosen to be Jesus’ friend and sit down to converse with him. Friendship involves talking and listening. There is nothing wrong with being a servant or a host. In every events and gathering, we need to meet the physical needs. Do it, but don’t that distract or burden you. I guess Jesus is telling Martha that day: “My dear Martha, enjoy the serving; enjoy even more the fellowship and conversation. I am not here as your BOSS, but as your friend.”

Agape

Friend No More :(

For some unknown reasons, this facebook friend of mine removes that friendship.

And I am still trying to figure out why and what I did that broke off that facebook friendship. Perhaps it was something I posed that she felt offended? Or was it my reply to her husband's wall-to-wall comment that she disagreed? In the first place, it was she who extended the facebook friendship to me.

Her husband and I have a very close friendship since University days. We were room-mates, Bible study mates, jogging mates, all kind of mates you can think of. And I was his best man during their wedding. Something though, I don’t really know her well to guess why.

It puzzles me what causes friendship to terminate.

I am still trying to figure it all up. This is my very first encounter.

Have you experience situations like this?

Forever Friends

Meeting a long lost friend and having some wonderful time together is always a joy and delight to the soul. All thanks to Facebook.

It was through Facebook that I found my old buddy and room-mate during NTI students’ days. Last Tuesday during lunch, we had a wonderful time talking about those days and how our lives have been.

It’s amazing to know that we remained as room-mate for the whole 3 years, a feat no students would do. Most broke up after a year or two. With him, we can almost talk about anything, no secret! I remember the time when he was interested in another girl in our Christian fellowship group. He told me all about his struggle. People use to say that guys don’t talk about personal feelings. But with him, we talk about almost anything. Best of all, we encourage one another spiritually. We even make a covenant that whoever got married first, the other person would be the best man. Guess who got married first?

Then we got married, have our own family, stayed oversea and slowly we lost contact.

It was through facebook that I found him. Thankfully, his photograph was in it.

Yah! Forever friends.

The “Cannot Make It” Kid

Being in the elite group also has its struggle. They measure against one another whether they “make it” or “cannot make it”. Those who can’t are called the CMI kid.


Last Friday night, I had a gathering with 2 of my closest friends in one of their house. We know each other since NUS graduate school days more than 19 years ago. No, we don’t meet every Sunday, only once or twice a year. Still, I consider them best of friends. Even though we rarely meet, I know that I can count on them when I am really in need or help. And they are from the elite group, very successful in their careers and lives. They are also evangelical Christians. However, they see themselves as the “Cannot Make It” - CMI kid.

You see, one of these friends came from the elite schools – RI and ACS. There is a saying among the elite that “The RI boys rule Singapore and the ACS boys own Singapore”. So this elite group measure themselves by whether they rule Singapore – politically successful or own Singapore – successful bankers and wealthy businessmen. This friend has classmates like the Law Minister, the Transport Minister and the Minister in the PM offices to measure and compare to. As such, he sees himself as the CMI kid, even though he has a big house, and is a top civil servant.

I spent the 4 hours listening to their “elite” talk, mostly in silence. The phrase - "CMI kid" kept repeating didn’t know for umpteen times.

As I left the big 5,000 square foot, 3-storey house almost before mid-night, the CMI kid thingy was lingering in my mind. If I were to compare to them, I am nothing, just an alumni of a neighborhood school and living in a HDB flat. Probably worse than a CMI kid.


Driving in the still silence of the night, I heard my serene spirit whispering to me:

“You are a CMI kid – Certainly Make It (to heaven) kid”. What a blessed assurance.

Devotion Thoughts: What is Friendship?

Every time I read about David and Jonathon, I think about their friendship. Then I think about my friendship. Or are they really my friends?

I was reading the Daily Bread online today (2Sam 1:11, 17-27)

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2009/08/25/devotion.aspx

Saul and Jonathon had died in battle. David laments for them, more so for Jonathan, his friend whom he greatly loved.

What then is friendship? Isaac Lim says it right – the bottom line of friendship is trust. http://izinmid.spaces.live.com/?lc=18441

(1) Friends trust one another
Read what Isaac wrote:

Who can we talk to? Who can we trust? Sometimes we want to talk to new people, to connect, to help them know more about us, but yet some of the things we tell them can be easily used against us. We want to have friends whom we can trust with the going ons of our lives, we want to share our struggles and pain, and yet sometimes, even people we think we know and can trust aren't exactly who we think they are. I guess sometimes we need to take a little risk to know if someone can be trusted. It isn't easy to open up; clamming up is so much easier.


David trust Jonathon that he will not betray him to his father, after Jonathon visits David while he is on the run from his father (1Sam 23:16-18). Without that trust, David might be wondering whether Jonathon is going home to tell Saul of David’s whereabout.

Without trust, there is no friendship.

(2) Friends rejoice and weep with one another.
When someone says (or blog) it’s their birthday, we greet, “Happy Birthday!” When she blogs about her good results, we congratulates her. When I read others' blog, I also like to know whether people care to comments on their blog. It is the comments arena that reveals how strong the bloggers’ friendships are. There was this simple blog with just ordinary postings - joy and pain that she goes through. But, everytime she share some things, her friends will write comments to encourage her. Blogging has become her motivation. In this aspect, of encouragement, I think non-Christian's blog fair better. Maybe I am wrong ...

(3) Friends are tolerant with each other
Not too long ago, a person from the English congregation called me and voiced displeasure at me because I did not do something. Maybe it was because I am an English Committee member in BPCES, I am expected to do what other can choose not to do. OK, so much about friendship! I began to see church members as … just church members, not friends anymore. Hence, I need to scrutinize who is reading my blog.

What then is true friendship?