That Illusive Medal

Hard work may not land you to an award or medal.

That is what ex-coach Liu Guodong experiencsd even though he helped Singapore to a silver Olympic medal for the women’s Table Tennis team.

It seems like somebody in the Singapore Table Tennis Association does not like him and fails to nominate him. Even though he has the support of the Project 0812 chairman, Ng Ser Miang and Singapore’s chief de mission at Beijin, Dr Tan Eng Liang.

It bring back memory, when I too missed out on that illusive medal…

It was 3rd July 1987. I was working in Chartered Electronics Industries then. We had a 5km Cross Country Race at the Chinese Garden.

The pace of the race was very slow. About less than 1km before the finishing line, there were only 5 of us at the front. I decided to pull off the crowd and speeded all the way, running alone. Unfortunately there was a cross-junction and both the road marshals and I did not know each other. (we did not know each others, since we were working in different buildings). Runners were also not given any number tags.

So I missed the turn and ended into a car park instead. I waited for more than a minute and then decided to back track to the cross-junction. The road marshals saw me again and realized their mistake in not directing me to the right route as I was running alone then. Because of that fatal error, I was 8th in position out of about a hundred runners and there was no award. Only the first 5 runners received medal.

The two pretty marshals apologized profusely.

A few days later, they gave me this plaque.

At the back was written:

X-COUNTRY

Jasmine Lim
Mary Tan
3/7/87

To some, life is like a race. But it is all right to miss out that illusive medal. There is always a final medal waiting for us.

24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
(1 Cor 9:24-27)

Appreciating Other

People use to say: “It’s the thought that count”.

I use to think so. But now, I think it should be: “It’s the thought and action that count.”

Yah, it is easier to think of good ideas and thoughts to help someone or show appreciation but to really carry it out is difficult for me. I may have a lot of good ideas but very little action.

Sigh :(

That’s what happened last Mother’s day. I was thinking of thanking someone whom one of our fellowship groups uses to meet in her house. We use her place, drink her wonderful ice lemon tea, eat her superb pizza and hang around till the late night (occasionally) and she sometime cook for us. I guess we often mess up the whole place each time we left her house and the amount of cleaning up she had to do.

Then mother’s day came and I thought it might be a good opportunity to thank her. But the thought of getting a gift is a very difficult task. I never know how to choose a right gift for the right situation. So I approached one of the ladies in the group. She gave a very good suggestion but had no time to source for the gift.

And so Mother’s day came and gone. And that thought is still, …just a thought.

No good, no good!! :(

Closing Thoughts on the Book of Nehemiah – Making Tough Decisions

How do church leaders make tough decisions?

Nehemiah realized that he needed to make some tough decisions after reading the Law of Moses. He made 3 tough decisions which others did not dare to do for fear of offending people.

(1) Remove corruption - misuse of privileges
Kick out Tobiah, the Ammonite who is staying in the court of God. Tobiah is related to the priest of the temple of God. The priest basically misuses his priestly privileges by allowing a foreigner to stay in the temple court. By doing a right thing, Nehemiah sets himself against the priest. (A priest is a very high official appointment).

(2) Obey God’s law - Institute the Sabbath
Keeping the Sabbath is a very important law for the Jews. To obey this, he stopped traders from selling during Sabbath. Surely, many people will be offended. Also, lifestyles have to be adjusted.

(3) Discipline sin - Remove Inter-religious marriages
Separated marriages of different religions and sent the spouses and children homes. Oh! The pain of family separation is unbearable.

Theses 3 decisions and actions surely created a lot of enemies for Nehemiah. After each action, Nehemiah prayed. “Remember me, O my God …”

Do our church people dare to make difficult but right decisions also, especially if it involve the church session – pastors, elders, etc. When pastors abuse privileges or misuse church funds, what should we do? When church members faced disciplinary actions, should we just stay quiet?

The church is supposed to be a friendly place, so the amicable approach is better. Nobody wants to stir up trouble. So we stay quiet.

Some of the tough decisions I can think of for you to grapple with:

(1) Church funds – overspending for church upgrading and excessive renovations

(2) Disciplinary actions – when a church member sins, how should the church committee deal with it, even though some members already know about it?

Do you stand up and act, like Nehemiah??


My next Bible Reading – the Book of Esther…

Mother's Day Thoughts

Born in the time where we children saw more of our mother than father, needless to say that mother is the greatest person to me then (and even now).

We, seven boys without any sisters were always up to mischief and problems. I remember two of my brothers been knock down by cars (at different time though) along the busy Beach Road where my childhood life was. Blood did happen on numerous occasions, like being hit by rascals and group fighting. We often chased after kites and in those busy city places, accidents did happen frequently. Those were the days.

Boys will always be boys!! (You know what I mean; mischief is part of growing up for boys)

Yet, mother is always there.

I remember that year 1969, when you brought all three of us (my two younger brothers and me) to school and back home everyday. The toil and struggle through the whole year taking buses during peak hour was a daily struggle. I remember the bus conductor asking you, “when would we grow up?” Yes, in those days, even the bus conductor remembered all their regular passengers. Those were the good old days.


Growing up and living in a half-room HDB flat with 9 of us clamping together like sardine was a real challenge. The neighborhood wasn’t that “healthy” then. I remember that one of our neighbour was a drug abuser. Gangs were also common. But somehow, we were not influenced by it.

The worry, the nagging, the scolding, sometime caning (from mother). It was through all these that kept us all away from bad company, drug and gang. Those were the days, when mother care was the greatest!

Thank you, mother!!

Attitude makes the difference

I have been thinking about the working attitude about some of the engineers in my work place.

I have Filipino, Indian, Chinese, Malaysians, and Singaporeans Engineers working in the company.

The Southern Indians are hardworking. They talk less but work hard. The Northern Indians are direct opposite. I have worked with quite a number of Indian engineers and this is my personal perception. There is this Indian engineer who came to work almost every Saturday, even though there is no over time claim for executive. He even volunteered to help me in some projects even though he does not report to me or work in my department! Which of us would want to do more work? How nice if all our Bethany PCES members have such attitude toward church work.

I have also a Filipino engineer attached to me (from another department) for one project. The Filipinos behavior is quite similar to the Malays. (You know what I mean). They are more laid back - take it easy kind of mentality. This Filipino working on one project keep re-scheduling date line, pushing from last year September, to December, to this year February, to April and is still not complete till today. Although there are some delays in the material, it is actually poor scheduling and work attitude. He comes to work at about 9:30 to 9:45am (officially it is 8:30am) and work till after 8:30pm (officially the work day end at 6:00pm). But what he does after office hour, nobody knows. He claims for taxi fare as this is allowed according to the company regulation for executive who work late. I have not tell him off about his work timing because the big bosses are also coming in late for work, setting “the example” for “people” to follow.

Also, this guy is a Christian.

And this Filipino engineer doesn’t go the extra mile by coming to work on weekend.

Anyway, he is just attached to me for this project onlyy and now I have asked him to go back to his previous department.

As for me, my work attitude is according to Col 3:23,24:

23Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving

Notice that the verse says - whatever you do,

What is your attitude towards work?

Facebook – a great way to connect

I found my very old friends in facebook!!

I have not got into facebook for a long long time.

Just out of curiosity, I tried to search for some old friends. At my age, it may be hard to see them in facebook, I guess. I tried to search for some foreign friends, those that were with me in University College London (UCL) many years ago. After many attempt, I found my Hong Kong friend, Joseph Kwok. Unfortunately, this is a very common name in Hong Kong and so there are too many Joseph Kwok without faces or “not real” faces. I tried to narrow down the search to UCL. Fortunately, only one Joseph Kwok from UCL appeared. Yep! Joseph has just become my new friend in facebook. What’s more, from his facebook, he seems to join facebook only recently. Just the right timing??!!


I also found my long time buddy when we were students staying Nanyang Technological Institute (NTI), the former name of NTU. We were room-mate in campus and he was perhaps the closest of friends I had then. Somehow, he has not replied my email or facebook message yet. Oversea trips?

I also found that facebook can actually let you “see” what every friend of mine is doing through the HOME tab. This is new to me. And it’s fun now to get into facebook and connect with everybody. We can even comments on one another posting. This is a great way to encourage one another. For that, I want to thanks Lily Wee and Stanley Soh. Yah! Keep the comments coming everybody!!!

Let’s be connected. Cheer! :)


Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thess 5:11, NIV)

How to increase membership in an organization?

It takes a tussle of leadership to boost membership from about 300 to 3000 within a short span of one month. That was what's good AWARE has achieved.

Does that spark any ideas for us as a Church how to draw people to Christ?

Still thinking ...

Feeling Siong Nowadays …:)

It has been one hectic April. There’s a lot of work in the office that need my attention. Every night is one drain dead tired.

There are many small orders from customers, some difficult projects that I need to compete worldwide, one assistant engineer resigned leaving his job half done, ...

Almost all Saturday (Saturday is an off day), I am working. But then, I just realized that …

“When the siongness gets heavier, the Grace of God gets stronger.”

Somehow in the midst of the many things God is still there with me.

First I manage to survive and complete all these small orders single handed and on time. Then, there is this Indian engineer who volunteered to help me and did a very good job in finishing some of the difficult projects. (Still one more to go, the most challenging one). Also, I still find time to write and blog. And also find time to read, which I didn’t do for a long time.

In gratitude, I invite this Indian Engineer and another in the team out for lunch on 30th April. Eat Sushi!! (Always learn to be thankful, see previous post)

Truly, the peace of God transcends all understanding … (Phi 4:7)

I have an idea. This will be my first verse: Mark Lim TL chapter 1 verse 1:

“When the siongness gets heavier, the Grace of God gets stronger.” (ML 1:1)

How about that?


PS: Siong = tough and difficult situation (for the uninitiated)

Book Reflection – Life of the Beloved

I don’t quite fully comprehend the significance of the Lord Supper. Some call it the Holy Communion or Eucharist.

Until I read this book …

I have just read this book –Life of the beloved by Henri Nouwen.

It is a very short book, about 119 pages but with a very insightful way of explaining how a person should live in this world.

Henri use four words to describe how life with the Holy Spirit is like – Taken, Blessed, Broken and Given. We may be familiar with this verse every time we partake the Lord’s Supper: (Lk 22:19)

And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me."

Taken
Life with God began when He take us to be His beloved. The movement of the Spirit of Love began when we are taken into His Kingdom. It is important for a Christian to be constantly aware that He is child of God. Our identity is in Christ, not what we do, not how successful we are; not how many medals we won, not how many scholarships we attained. …

Blessed
To be in His Kingdom is being blessed. We then in turn now bless others. Start by exercising gratitude in life. Always give thanks and say “thank you” as an expression of that blessing.

Broken
Although we are in Christ, we are still in this world but not of this world. Suffering and pain are part of this world. That is what broken means. Christ also lived in this world, suffered and experienced the broken life. Be in touch with the common and suffering people, empathize and be with them.

Given
Having experienced the brokenness within and without, we are then the salt and light of the world. We give the love of Christ. We give the light and hope to the hopeless.


Each time you take the Lord Supper, remember these 4 words – Taken, Blessed, Broken, Given.

Mrs, Ms or Madam??

It puzzles me how a married lady calls herself as Mrs, Ms or Mdm.

I was born in the era where we address our female school teachers as Mrs, Madam or Miss, never Ms. There is no ambiguity of their status. Why and when the sudden of this Ms thingy?

In ancient time, a married woman is the property of her husband and hence even her maiden name (surname) has to change to that of her husband. Whatever vow she had previously made can be nullified by her husband

This puzzle all starts when I observe how my wife sometimes uses her maiden name (Ms Tan) or her married name (Mrs Lim) in letters or conversation. Being a choleric and assertive woman, she would use her maiden name in normal situation. However, on strategically situations, like talking to parents of children in her Sunday school classes, she will likely use her married name.

This prompts me with a theory of Mrs or Ms for a married woman. When a married woman calls herself Mrs So and So, she is not only talking about her marital status, she is actually saying that I am submissive to my husband (when in this world, I can still choose to use my own name, yet I use my husband name). Secondly, she is pro-family rather than individualistic (Just like the card game – Happy Family, the wife is Mrs., not Ms). Also, she is not an evasive person to keep you in suspend whether she is married, single or …

I usually have a higher regard and respect for married lady who call herself Mrs rather than Ms. Maybe; it was the school teacher’s instinct where we call them Mrs. Or maybe; it was their transparency. Most likely, it is because I believe in Eph 5:22-33; about husbands to love their wives and wives to be subject to their husbands.

Why the sudden of this thought?

The recent spate of leadership tussle (women versus women) just triggers this puzzle again when I look at the names of the women in contention.

(1) Mrs Constance Singam – she is much older than me and probably in the older era of “Mrs and Mdm, no Ms” period.

(2) Mrs Claire Nazar – president of AWARE for a few weeks before she resigned. Her face shows that she is a Chinese but choose to use her husband name.

(3) Ms Josie Lau – president of AWARE.

If you are given these 3 names and their faces, without further information, what impression would your derive?

OK, so wives, “want to help me piece up this puzzle?”

What about man? Not fair leh!!

Well, for man, see whether he has his wedding ring. But that is any puzzle of mine, probably another Share-A-Thought.

AWARE leadership coup – Learn from Martin Luther & Christ

We Christians have been indirectly dragged into AWARE’s leadership coup. All because a group of Christian women who is against AWARE’s view on homosexuality and lesbianism.


Yes, the practice of homosexuality is biblically wrong. You can easily check this up in the Bible. I don’t support homosexuality but homosexuals are still people we have to accept and befriend them. It’s like “hate the sin but love the sinners”.

But, to stage a "coup" and taking over leadership in such a planned manner is like tricking Eve into eating the fruit of Knowledge of good and evil. This was what happened. Accordingly, the planner knows that AWARE’s annual general meeting usually has a poor turn-out (about 29 in one AGM according to her words) This is in ST report on April 25 page A22.


Jesus Christ was also against the ways of the Pharisees and the religious leaders during His time. On many occasions He spoke against them: “Woe to you! Scribes and Pharisees …”. But never once did He plan to take over the offices of the temple and Synagogue. Not only did He receive death threat, He died for it.

Yes, when Aware plan for such leadership takeover, likewise death threat is no surprising.

When we see something wrong, speak up! Talk about it! Write about it! Talk about the issues but don’t stage a division. God unites, Satan divides. Do things in the light, not in the dark.

The church during the 16th century also faced a lot of corruption. Martin Luther, who was a Catholic Monk and professor at Wittenburg in Germany spoke against it. His famous 95 Theses landed him in “hot soup”- imprisonment, assassination and expulsion from the church. Being branded as Protestant, that was how we Christians came to be.

Doing something Relaxingl!!

Some people like food. Some people like music… I like jogging

Manage to catch the sunset this evening!!

Today, I decided to leave office slightly after 6pm, the official closing time for work. Keziah and I went for a jog to the Pasir Ris Beach.

There's seldom an opportunity to jog during weekday as work and other demands take up most of my time.

There is this saying: (not sure who said it, or I make up myself)

“Life is a journey. Enjoy the roses along the way”

Your “roses” may be food, or music.

Mine is jogging.

My Writings … my weariness

Finally, I decide to pause from my writing.

Since the end of last year, I started to pen down my thoughts and understanding on Bible Stories (or more accurately, it should be Bible Narratives). This is something I have always been fascinated about – how God chooses to reveal Himself to us through stories.

Then I started to write about Understanding Narratives. To write, I need to read and I need to study. I read many books. I study many Bible passages and Bible stories. In the cause of writing, I also sense the presence of God. Many a time, I woke up with “prompting” on certain issues I need to address in my writing. Till now, I have covered about 34 pages. Not much.

But I am tired. I want to read other books. Not academic or theological books but books that are more in tune to the soul. Books from Henri Nouwen, John Maxwell, Joyce Huggett, maybe C.S. Lewis.

So, I finally stop writing, leave a few Bible passages not completely analyzed.

Writing keep me discipline and make wise use of my time. Yah! I still have to work, family, children studies, personal jogging, etc. But writing has also occupied another space in my life. I am a bit exhausted.

As I closed my mind to pause, I remember the Wise guy who says this:

Be warned, my son, …. Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body. (Ecc 12:12)


HOW TRUE!!

AWARE makes me more aware

It reminds me of my duty as a member.

Yes, as a member of the Kingdom of God.

Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware) has been on the news everyday for the past week. A new Ex-Co has been voted in and the old members are crying foul. The newspaper report was quite bias and stated that the new group came in and usurps leadership. It seemed that many old members did not turn up (only 30 to 40 came), while most of the new members came (more than a 100 of them) and outnumbered them. Now, the older members are calling for an EOGM.

Which make me wonder. Why didn’t you do your duty and turn up at the AGM and vote for your preferred Ex-Co? If you don’t come and vote, now that a new committee is formed, why cry foul and ask for an EOGM?

Previously, I was vaguely aware of what AWARE is, except that they represent women rights, and fight for women equality. Now, the new committee has made us more aware!!

Yah! Even went into their website. Kay poh a bit mah!

Many of us Christians too behave this way. We just want to be passive, and leave the work of the Heavenly Kingdom to the Pastors, Elders and church leaders. Then one fine day, when we find something in the church that is not done according to what we desire, we would probably then want to act.

But the Kingdom way does not allow for passiveness. Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me (Luke 9:23)”. It is a daily process of denying self and follows Christ.

Are you doing that – deny self, following Christ?

The behavior of AWARE old members makes me more aware of my duty as a member of the heavenly kingdom.

13 Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.

14 For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil. (Ecc 12:13,14)

Planning Ahead

“Oh no! I forgot my Guides’ T-shirt!!”

We were already travelling along the Pan Island Expressway to school yesterday morning when my eldest daughter suddenly realized that she had left her clothing at home.

“Can we turn back?” She pleaded.

Doing so will get everybody late for school. Not a very good idea. Knowing that she needed it only in the afternoon, I told her I will go home and get it for her during lunch.

Human has a tendency to forget things, people, and also a whole lot of others. Most of the time, we too forget about God. In our “busy and hurry” society and work, we loose sense of the Almighty, only to come to Him when help is needed and prayer to be done. That is what I want to show her. I can help rescue her forgetfulness. But she too needs to learn to be alert, watchful and plan ahead. This is not the first time it happened. Previously, it was when we just drove off one street away then she remembered something she did not bring along. It’s going to get habitual, would it?

Would she remember this lesson?

As for me, I will help her to remember by asking before we drive off: “Have you forget anything?”

PLAN YOUR WORK, WORK YOUR PLAN

All things have a life span

Recently, a lot of things start going “dead” almost at the same time.

About a few weeks ago, the heater finally died on us. It tripped the whole house electricity when we switched it on. It has been serving us faithfully since day one, about 17 years ago. Finally, it decided to call it a day. We have yet to get it fix. So, no hot water for now until the plumber is free to get it done.

Then, the fan starts giving way. No, it is still not fully dead. Just making a lot of noise when we turned on the power. Something likes a motor boating sound. I guess, it will soon say bye-bye to us. Another faithful equipment, also serving us since day one.

There is another faithful household item that finally calls it a day – the mirror light. My wife last weekend told me about it. I have forgotten about it as I don’t use the lamp. I will try to find a time this week to change the bulb.

The not so faithful one is the printer cable. I have changed it so many times. Why, oh why, it looses connection so often!!! I have just bought a new cable.

What will “die” next?

Then, a verse came to my mind (Ecc 3):

A time to born and a time to die;
…
A time to weep and a time to laugh
…

Yep, one day, you and I will be dead.

The question is: “Have I been faithful in fulfilling God’s purpose while I am alive?”

Reflection: My “Year of Jubilee”

Officially, I am 50 years old today!

Little girl just like to be funny!!

50th year is also known as the year of Jubilee. Lev. 25:11

The fiftieth year shall be a jubilee for you; do not sow and do not reap what grows of itself or harvest the untended vines. 12 For it is a jubilee and is to be holy for you; eat only what is taken directly from the fields.

The year of Jubilee is the year to make redemption of property and slaves and also rest for the soil.

What does the year of Jubilee mean to me? Reading Leviticus Chapter 25, here are my impulse thoughts:

1. REJOICE
The words jubilee and jubilation mean rejoicing. Yah! It is important to have a joyful heart. This verse in Proverbs just came to mind:

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. ( Prov 17:22)

2. REVITALISE
Thank God for life. He is the giver and sustainer of all lives. (Act 17:28). I have seen quite a number of people died without passing this age. It is time to say as Apostle Paul said: “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” As in Lev 25:12 – “The year of Jubilee is to be Holy for you”, the way I live must reflect my walk with God. It is time to be recharge and revitalize for the LORD.

3. RELATIONSHIP
We all heard the Good Friday message, when Jesus asked his disciple “Do you love me?” This is the most important question. In the year of Jubilee, restoration and redemption of things, property and relationship were made. It is the time to make peace with people and rebuild relationship.

Happy Birthday!!!

Recalling My Baptism Experience

Today is a very Good Friday,
It’s also my “Spiritual” Birthday.
Born Again on 10 April One Nine Seven Seven
I am now all ready to go to heaven!!

My Baptism was on an Easter Sunday
At the East Coast beach, a lot of people play.
The beach then was very crowded,
Noise, song and sound of wave were very loud.

Before the baptism, I had to share a testimony,
With the crowd listening, I had to speak clearly.
I shared about how I met the LORD,
And what I learnt by reading HIS WORD.

My past then was a lone lost world,
I would follow others where they go.
To cheat in exam, did my friend taught;
But by God’s grace, I was not caught.

However, the guilt of wrongdoing remained;
Even though any further sin, I had refrained.
I tried to seek repentant by studying hard;
Though I excel in studies, my guilt never departed.

Then I read that Jesus Christ was crucified,
How He even forgave others before He died.
“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
Drove me to pray and the forgiveness I pursue.

After testimony, I was baptized in the sea;
Rising from the water, I found a “new” me.
The sun was blazing hot that day,
But my faith soars and continues to stay.

Looking into the sea, I saw many ships;
Into His service, I’ll learn to feed His sheep.
If ever He will extend His call to me,
Will I then say: “Here am I, send me!”?


- Lim Teng Lye

(Baptism Certificate)

Reflecting Aloud: Palm Sunday Sermon

Imagine the following scenes:

Scene #1
A Christian youth is talking to his non-Christian friend about Jesus Christ:

Non-Christian Friend: Why must Jesus Christ die on the cross?

Christian: Oh! Let me give you a hypothetical analogy.

NC Friend: Like what?

Christian: It is like God and Satan are playing a game of chess.

NC Friend: God and Satan playing chess?

Christian: Yah! You know, sometime in a chess game, you need to make a strategic move and sacrifice the most precious and important piece in order to checkmate you opponent. So God sacrifice Jesus Christ to die on the cross and checkmate Satan!! Brilliant move!?

NC Friend: What the !!@%#????

Christian: Actually, I heard that in last Sunday Sermon in Church.

Scene #2
Two angels are in the church service and listening to the sermon on Palm Sunday.

Angel #1: These theologians think that God is playing chess with Satan.

Angel #2: If it is just a game of chess, God would rather lose the game than sacrifice His Son. It is the whole world’s sin and doom to hell that is at stake.

Angel #1: Yah! Don’t play play ok!

I am not poking fun at the analogy used in the sermon last Sunday. The analogy is used because of the word “triumphant” used in Zechariah 9:9. So triumphant is seen as “victorious” over someone. Who is that someone? Hence, the analogy is used to explain that God triumphant over Satan in a chess game. But, can someone triumph without another loosing? Like running in a marathon race? Everyone who complete the run "triumph". (Not sure, leh!)

The two imaginary scenes described above just flashes through my mind during the sermon as I think theologians use such analogy to explain Christ triumphant entry and death on the cross.

Actually the explanation is already given in the Bible. There is no need of such dilution of analogy to the most important event in God’s work. It is found in Leviticus 16:5-22. The Daily bread on today devotional text explains it all.

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2009/04/08/devotion.aspx

Differences between Sexes!

Seem to me the wives need to put in effort to keep the marriage healthy, while the husbands just “cruises” along.

That was the feeling after the “Strengthening Family Relationship” forum last Sunday.

Hope I am wrong.

Brother Chee Seng was one of our panelists. He shared mostly from the man’s point of view. Man needs “accessories”, even in a marriage. He cited an analogy of a man spending time to fix a sport rim on his car and fancy over car gadgets. So when a man does not find those “accessories” in his marriage, he looks elsewhere for them. When a relationship has problem, “wife talks, while man runs”.

That prompted the female panelist to remark: “It’s not fair! …”

Yes, I agree. It seems men are always at fault.

But why are men like that? As the moderator in this forum, I asked the 2 husbands present to comment. Aahh! Switch topic to father versus children.

I wish I was a participant so that I could speak up for the men. So, here, I will share why men are like that. Just look at what a man is thinking most of the time. LOOK AT THE MALE BRAIN

Ladies, I will give you a few minutes to digest that.

“When the man can’t find the “accessories”, he will look elsewhere”, that is what Brother Chee Seng said. So do you know what accessories Brother Chee Seng are talking about now? And do you know now why man has a problem in listening? Look at the male brain again.

Now, let’s look at the FEMALE BRAIN

See the differences?

OK. I must state here that these pictures are given to us by Rev Dr Rick Griffith, lecturer of Singapore Bible College (SBC) when we are studying the Role of Women in Old Testament Background. Dr. Danny Goh, Dean of Pastoral Counselling in SBC also showed us these pictures when I was studying in his class on Building Strong Family. The point here is that we, husband and wife need to know the differences and adjust ourselves to one another’s need.

Of course, not all men let their sex drives run wild like Edison Chen. But most would operate it at the threshold of legal and “trouble-free” limit. But sometime it goes off limit, like King David and King Solomon. Also, I believe God makes men this way so that the human races do not go extinct after a few generations. But it swings to the other extreme because of the evilness of heart, and so need be self-controlled (fruit of the Spirit). Certainly the wife can help the husband if they know the male brain.

It is appropriate at this juncture to quote the Apostle Paul’s

4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
(guess while it is found)

So, husbands, now that you have seen what the female brain is, don’t just cruise along in your marriage!!

PS: The pictures are meant as a joke. http://www.wolfescape.com/Humour/MedPicts/BrainMaleFemale.gif

On the Dean’s List

Being on the Dean’s list does look good on paper, but …

Employers look more than just academic results.

You may be the creme de la creme of your cohort but academic results is just that.

I was conducting interviews in my company the whole of yesterday afternoon, looking for an Engineering Assistant to replace one of my staff, who has tendered his resignation.

There is this polytechnic fresh graduate. He came with impressive engineering results and on the Dean’s list. Being a China national, he could hardly express himself even though he had studied in Singapore for 3 years. But the candidate before him was also another China National and could speak fluent English.

What a contrast!!

To test his engineering knowledge, I asked him to tell me what he has studied for Electronic Communication, a subject he got distinction. It is my favorite subject, which I also got distinction in polytechnic and university.

Me: Tell me anything about Electronic Communication.

Fresh Grad: (look blur)

Me: You got distinction for this subject. Can you remember any topics or anything about electronic communication?

Fresh Grad: (still silence)

Me: Do you know AM and FM?

Fresh Grad: Don’t know

Me: FM is about radio. 93.3MHz FM?

To my surprise, he couldn’t name me a single topic. His excuse was that the subject was taught in 2007/2008 semester and he has not made use of anything from this subject since then.

(Not sure he deserves to get DISTINCTION, man!!)

So I tried with a more recent subject which he got an A – Radio Frequency Engineering. Again, he couldn’t tell me anything or any topic that he had learned from RF Engineering. Not even the simplest equation: frequency is inversely proportional to wavelength. The constant is the speed of light.

I tried the same Radio Frequency question on another candidate, who got a lot of F in her grades. Surprise, surprise, she could even tell me that the speed of light is 3 X 10(exponential 8) m/s. Yes, all who have studied RF Engineering will know the speed of light and frequency versus wavelength equation. You don't need to be on the dean’s list to get that equation right.


So, what's so special to be on the Dean’s list?

Letters from NKF – old versus new

Mr. T. T. Durai taught me to be more "personal" in my writing,

And also the courage to write.

Yes, Mr. Durai, the man we love to hate.

(Just don’t quite like NKF leh!)

About 2 weeks ago I received a letter from the New NKF and was too busy to read it. I was in a better mood the last weekend to read what NKF have to say.

The way the new Chief Executive Officer of the New NKF wrote was very different from Mr Durai. It was a letter to thank and update us donors of what NKF has done, no different from any charitable organization. This set me thinking about Mr. Durai. Oh how I like to receive his old NKF letters.

Mr Durai’s letters addressed you personally. Reading his letters is like hearing him talking to you. There is this personal touch and emotional grieve for the suffering patients (sometime names are mentioned, and you know they are real people in real needs) when he wrote in his letters. Words like, “Mr. Lim, I am sure you …”; Mr. Lim this and Mr. Lim that … connects me to the cause of the NKF.

I became a donor through reading his letters way back in 1994 or 1995. (It was such a long time; I may have mistaken it by a year or two). Thereafter, I even volunteered to be an ambassador of NKF. The NKF ambassador approaches people and encourages them to donate to NKF.


Perhaps it was his style of writing that I feel for the patients in NKF. Also, there were frequent updates of newsletter and invitation from NKF.

I use to keep his letters until the NKF saga in 2005. Then I threw them all away. Still, I continue to support the NKF financially. Givers never quit. But I am disappointed about NKF management.

His writings may have influenced the way I write and blog. I try to make it personal, like talking to you. You know, my greatest phobia is composition. I never passed any composition in school. Blogging is the last thing I will ever do. After every post, I think I make a fool of myself.

(Still learning to write properly, leh!)

Mr. Durai, thank you.


PS: NKF = National Kidney Foundation (for those who are blur)

Chiastic Writing

My next post will be in Chiastic structure. Can you detect it?


A Mr. Durai taught me to write
B .....He gave me courage to write
C .......Don’t quite like NKF
D .........Received New NKF letter
E ...........Style of Old NKF letters
X .............I became an NKF donor & Ambassador
E' ...........Develop a feeling for NKF patients
D’ .........Keep Old NKF letters
C’ ........Disappointed with NKF
B’ .....I had phobia in composition
A’ Mr. Durai, thank you

Leaving behind a legacy

What would people say and write about you after you die?

Last Saturday afternoon while packing my desk, I came across a tribute to a professor who passes away at the age of 49 after a long battle with nasopharyngeal cancer. He joined NTU in 1993 and we had a brief working relationship in one of the committee. Associate Professor Chin Mee Koy is one of the brilliant lecturers in the University, spearheading the Photonic Research Centre, publishing many books and journals and at the forefront of cutting edge research.

What get me thinking is that this is a man who is the same age as me, achieve much and quite well known in his field of academic achievement. Yet, death waits for no man. Dying at an age of 49 is relatively young. I don’t know him well to say where his next destination is after leaving earth. But, I believe he has left behind much good stuff for the academic field.

This leads me to think about my way in living. While I may be preparing for the next journey after death, I must also leave behind the good stuff as I travel this journey on earth. Preparing the next journey is very personal, it is between God and me only, none of others business. But living behind good stuff is what others will perceive and get from me. Then the whole living thingy is about “LOVING GOD and LOVING PEOPLE”.

Deep in heart, I know I have done well preparing for my next journey. But I don’t think I have much in leaving an impact in this world to be worth remembered for. When I was young I always dreamt that one day I could discover or invent something, like Teng Lye’s theorem in some intrigue formulae or a hypothesis. When I was studying in University College London and working on my Master research, I generated a complex series in reducing some spurious signals in a mixer design. But, this polynomial series is just not good enough to stick my name into it. So much about invention or discovery.

How about touching lives for the glory of God? How about bringing cheers and joy to the under privileges? We will never reach the level of Mother Teresa, or Florence Nightingale, but at least we can do something within our community.

In 1888, a man was surprised and shocked to read his name in the obituary column in a French newspaper. The obituary stated Le marchand de la mort est mort ("The merchant of death is dead") and went on to say, "Dr. Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday." The report made him to think and ask this question, “Is this how I am going to be remembered?” He got in touch with his feelings and decided that this was not the way he wanted to be remembered. From that day on, he started working toward peace. Today, he is remembered by the great Nobel Prize, not the “Dynamite King”.

What will people remember me as?
It is not too late to do something about this.

Bon Voyage, Assoc Prof Chin!

Maths Solving

New ways of solving Mathematics!!

Polynomial Expansion (combining with English)

Simplifying Surds!! (I love this)

New way of solving limits!!

The geometry (Pythagoras' Theorem)

And Circular Functions:

From Lily Wee with Thanks. I love the mathematics!!

Thanking God - TGIF

It common to hear: “Thank God It’s Friday” mentioned when Friday comes.

Most times, it is said in short, “TGIF ah!” with a smiling tone. Guess, everyone look forward to a good weekend rest or recreation.

Me, too :)

But seriously though, I need to thank God.

Past few weeks was really burn out by work, work and more work. Work is good in such a “bad” time. But, it must be productive and not merely to do work without output. So I want to thank God for energy to clear a few important works. Yah! Energy. Being very tired but has recovered.


Thank God for the family. Family is important. Learning to get along is important. More important is that God must be in the center of the family. There’s nothing fantastic about my family. It’s probably not better than any of yours. But it is the perspective. Learn to see my family from God’s perspective. (That’s the trick of loving your family)

Can I also say, thank God for the church? Thank God for the BSG leaders, they actually willingly come forward to be one. Thank God for those who serve as worship leaders. Let’s thank God for Pastor David. It’s not an easy job to be the only pastor of a congregation of about 80.

(Imagine a ratio of 1:80!!. Worse than a teacher!)

Talking about thanking God, it comes to mind that actually this is the will of God for us (1Thess 5:18)

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Encouraging Growth Mentality

Share A Thought: Always take care of your subordinates.

One of my company mechanical draughtsmen has tendered his resignation. Although he is not reporting to me but to another manager, he did all my mechanical drawings for those jobs that I work on. Here is a nice chap with a poly diploma who has been with the company for more than three years, if I am not wrong. Now, I have start all over again, … (sigh!)

I have been prompting my top boss to take care of our engineers’ career path. He decides promotion and pay increment, I have no control over all this. But he doesn’t seem to think the same as me. For him, if someone resigns, “just go and hire another”. But the pain of training a new engineer is not that simple. It takes at least 3 to 6 months if the engineers are fast learners to really get some decent job done. Most don’t stay long enough, 3 years at most.

It is the same as in the Bethany PCES. Do our worshippers see a so call spiritual growth in the church?

Would they see that:
In 2 years time, to become a BS leader or follow-up leader?
Another 2 years then as a committee member;
There after another 3 years to be a deacon,
Etc (short term mission; evangelism; Sunday School teacher) …?

Otherwise, we are all stuck doing the jobs … as a BSG leader, worship leader, committee member … (for life?)

What is the church doing to inculcate the growth mentality?
(comment?)

6So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, 7rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. (Col 2:6,7)

Thoughts on Yesterday Sermon - Songs!!

Continuing the thoughts on Yesterday Sermon, Brother Chee Seng sang 2 songs and recite 1 lyrics.

So now all who preach must sing. (Die, man!)

If I am called to preach on giving and money again, so how?

1 Song would be by the Beatles - "Money",
... I don't care too much for love, money can't be me love ...

Need to 2 songs leh!

OK, second song will be "No money no talk" by the Wynners

Can or not?

Must practice singing already lah.

Thoughts on Today Sermon's - "Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow"

Our Brother Chee Seng gave an excellent message today regarding Strengthening Family Relationship.

There were good songs of the oldies - "Yesterday" by the Beatles (my favourite)

The ending of fixing it with God's was well said.

However, one point that may hurt a marriage is this:
"The spouse who goes to work is having a good time, while the other staying at home is not"
(not the exact words but the implication is there)

My wife is a housemaker. She thinks I am having a good time working while she has to bare the blunt of taking care of the children and doing house chores. Hearing what Brother Chee Seng said today would definitely re-inforce her belief. It will hurt the family relationship. I know how she feels anyway so I give her whatever money I earn (after paying bills and givings). She works very hard for the family but that does not mean I am enjoying my time in the office like what Brother preach today.

I am not having a good time at work. In fact, I wish to stay at home and serve the family. It would be a joy to cook for the children, wash their clothes and teach them in their school work. I don't mind having no pay, most of my earning are either to pay bills or give away. Yet, at work as an engineer, my job is to solve problems. If there is no problems, then I have to design new things and that would create problems. So working life is all about dealings with problems. I wish to retire early.

In any case, thanks for the message. Brother Chee Seng.

Economy affecting Football!!!

I am no supporter of Man-U, but ...

"9-man Man United lost 2-0 at Fulham, a result that blows the EPL title race wide open"

When economy is bad for AIG - Manchester United could not play.

(AIG is sponsor of Man-U, for those not aware of this)

And it is not once but twice. First to Liverpool and now to Fulham.

So, all football geeks ... Football is not about skill, it is about money. The players are worried about their AIG sponsors and so can't play, man!!

Random Thoughts on “The Bethany Family”

Remember what I wrote in my previous post about “the stone”?

It may sound stupid, but that’s what I was “directed” to think about all morning and afternoon. So I finally decided to write about it in this blog, even though I still could not figure out what “this stone or stones” is all about. I just know that it is that small still voice speaking.

After the post, I checked my email. Someone from Bethany PCES sent me an email. And it is about “the stone”, asking for help to remove the stone. (“How coincidence!” Was my first exclamation).

At least it gives me the answer why that small still voice prompts me to think about “the stone”. Are there anymore stones in Bethany? I know there are only less than a handful of people reading this, but would they care to think about “the stone”? My answer is “no” and so I decided to erase this out of my mind. Duty done, or so I say.

I hate this but this morning, I woke up thinking about this Bethany family thingy again.

The interesting part is that, in this Bethany family, there are 2 sisters and 1 brother. All three are very good friends of Jesus. The sisters are either serving Jesus or learning from Jesus. The brother is dead and need to be made alive. After been made alive, Jesus is glorified.

Yes, this Bethany family is like most churches I know:
(1) Jesus is the very good friend of the church.
(2) There are usually more sisters than brothers in a church. My previous church has ladies outnumbered men by 2:1.
(3) Sisters are usually more fervent - serving or learning. There is usually not much problem to get them to come for fellowship or cell group.
(4) Men are usually more laid back, either spiritually “dead” or very spiritually “alive”.
(5) Those make “alive” are usually in leadership or mission work. Jesus is glorified by their work.

So, to really start a men group, the leader must first learn to remove “the stone.”

I see our YA in Bethany PCES is also like this.

Ok, I better stop here.

Lower Seletar Reservoir, anyone interested?

I went to the Lower Seletar Reservoir at about 1:40 pm this afternoon. Just to do some recce for the up and coming outing for Bethany PCES. The place is really small. Some parts are close and under renovation till March 2010.

You have to park at the HDB car park directly opposite the reservoir. Public holidays and Sunday are free parking. It's about a short 50m walk and cross the road. Not so bad. There is no entrance to the park for cars and I kept circling around and finally it dawn on me that the HDB car park is just directly across the park.

The Reservoir cater mainly for sea sport - Canoeing $15/hour for two people; Dragon boating $60/hour for 10 but need a trainer to be present; and Kayaking (did not ask for price).

Reservoir view #1

Reservoir View #2

For those interested in fishing, there is a fishing jetty.

Entrance to the Fishing Jetty

This is the jetty for those who want to fish

This is the exercise area, for those who are keen to improve on their Individual Physical Proficiency Test (IPPT)

The place is quite small. And probably not much facilities other than the toilet and changing facility for sea sport.

What say you?

Sermon Reflection: “Can you help to remove the stone?”

I woke up this morning thinking about “the stone”.

Yes, you read it right – the stone!!

Ok, it’s just last Sunday worship service message about this family in Bethany. There are 3 siblings, 2 sisters and 1 brother. They are very good friends of Jesus. Yah, very very good friends. So good that whenever Jesus and His disciples come to Bethany, the eldest sister would always cook for them. Imagine 13 grown-up come eating at your house and you want to cook for all of them, because they are your best friends. Then including your own family, 13+3 would be a meal for 16 adults.

So, all “sisters”, what say you? Is it easy to cook for 16 adults? Do you need help? Never mind your own sister don’t bother to help, and cannot complain some more. Wait kena tick off by the LORD. Worst still, this Luke guy writes a book and include this inside and forever everybody of every generation read about it. No face to hide man. He should let the sisters proof read first before publish it!!

Please lah, Luke is a nice guy. Heh, a doctor you know. All doctors are nice guys.

Yah! I pity Martha.

Do you?

Maybe Martha got servants to help lah! She just upset that Mary can sit down, relax and listen to story leh! Otherwise, you think Jesus so mean meh? He actually want her to join Mary and listen and leave the work to the servants. Set priority mah!

OK, I leave it to the ladies to discuss about that (read Luke 10:38-42 first). Those can cook can talk louder. Those can’t, maybe imagine that you are Mary. (Mary of Bethany, Israel; not Mary of Bethany PCES).

We men should think about the man … the brother, I mean – Lazarus.

Nay, think about the stone.

Ok, it is in John Chapter 11. Actually, Lazarus never glorifies God. He’s dead. It was Jesus who performed the miracle of bringing back Lazarus to life and glorifies God. But without the stone removed no miracle could happen. The dead caould not be alive. It was the people who removed the stone. Not Lazarus.

Thoughts:
1. What is one stone you need others to remove before the dead in your life can be alive?

2. What is one stone in Bethany PCES that we need to remove before the “dead” can be “alive”?

3. Most important, can you help to remove that stone?

Think about that stone.

Is life’s tiring?

Weekends seem to pass by so fast…

And, still tired lah! :)

Maybe, it was just too much things going on during the weekend. Or maybe the Bethany PC English Committee meeting was just too long …

Which end up the Sunday afternoon napping. This is my first Sunday nap for year 2009.

And, still tired leh.

Maybe I went for a jog after I woke up. Yah, talk about jogging and I am awake. Or maybe I jogged too much after the nap.

And, still tired loh!

Then, this morning I had to wake up at 5:30am, (even though it is supposed to be school holiday). Well, the oldest girl needs to be in school by 6:30am. She has a Malaysia trip.

So, still tired aaahhh!

It’s that tiring weekend!! I need rest. Which reminds me of Matt 11:28

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest"

Reflection - First semester of year 2009

Looking forward to the school semester break!!

Tired lah! :)

The first school semester has ended. This year has been quite tiring, having to drive the 2 girls to two different schools. Tanjong Katong road is the worst. This road is seemingly jammed pack with cars every morning. It has only 2 lanes. There is no bus bay and so when a bus stops, it literally hogs a lane. Instead of learning to be patience, I have learnt to weave in and out, overtaking here and there!! May be I shouldn’t do that.

OK, need to be more considerate. And start early.



Work wise, I have been engaging in some new engineering design to launch our very own products. We used to buy and sell the Spanish products. The profit margin is very low, though. So we decided to do it ourselves this year. It seems, God is with me. My design ideas are now working. I need more fine tuning to get it done in the first half of this year. Hope I can do a better design than the Spanish product, at a lower cost.

So, need to think very hard. And pray faithfully.

Personally, I have been quite consistent in reading my Bible and reflecting. I started reading with the historical books from Joshua and to 1 Kings. 1 Kings focuses on King Solomon (chapter 1–11) and King Ahab (end of Chapter 16 till the end of the book, chapter 24). But why cover so much on an evil king like Ahab? Could it be because of the prophet Elijah? They appear at the same time. This prophet plays a very pivotal role in the book of 1Kings also. The key phrases in the book are “did evil in the sight of the LORD” and “did what was right in the sight of the LORD” Really, Elijah and Ahab contrast each other to the extreme. One was for God, the other is for Baal. One was extremely evil, killing life to dead and taking away the rich’s property; the other was extremely good, raising dead to life and providing for poor widows

Therefore, need to do things right. And do it cheerfully.


Proverbs 3:5,6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths"

When Stressed - enjoy a Joke!

Thermo Flask
Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.

Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object?"

Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."

Ah Beng : "What does it do?"

Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"

Ah Beng : "I'll buy it"

The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask.

Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"

Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."

Boss : "What does it do?"

Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"

Boss : "What do you have in it !?"

Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"

Job Application
Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.

He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age,Address etc.

Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.

After much thought, he writes "Yes"

Colour Television
Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set.

He goes to a shop.

Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV?"

Salesgirl : "Yes!"

Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please"

Under 18
AH BENG the Crazy Singaporean.

Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?

Because below 18 not allowed Lah!

When stressed - PRAY!!

Saturday morning 7 March 7:45am
Blood flew out of my right forefinger. It was painful.

I knew then that I was having tremendous stress for the last 2 weeks because of work. I usually could not tell that I was stressful until 3 things happened. Or at least 2 things happened.

One is that when I start getting ulcers. Also, I would be very absent-minded and forgetful. Third, when my thoughts drift away while doing things.

That’s when it happened. I was cutting the bread that morning but my mind was still thinking of the problems at work. In that flick of a moment, I accidently cut my right forefinger. Worst, I had sharpened the knife before cutting the bread. You know how soft bread is. So I needed a very sharp knife to cut it without exerting a lot of pressure.

Then the week before, I misplaced my ezlink card. My wife has changed for me to a new card. Though I seldom use it, I think it is a good idea to have one. I remember clearly I was reading it and decided to put it in my wallet. But it was not in there. I can’t remember what happened after reading it. My mind was totally blank. I can’t even recall what I did to it.

Fortunately, I did not have any ulcers.

Saturday morning 7 March 10:15am
I received a call from my boss while I was at my office. Good news!!! One of the very difficult projects is now working. On Friday night, the engineers finally got some workable results. I am the designer and am very stressed by it. But Friday night was prayer night in Bethany PC so I quietly left early.

****

A few days ago, whether by God intervention or not, I managed to get the 21.75GHz oscillators working. I still do not how it happened. All I know is that I prayed almost every minute while working on this. Then I decided to write in my blog about this (2nd March, Monday night).

Spend the Tuesday night praying.

On Wednesday morning, I decided to do exactly what I done before, and just pray. Amazingly it worked. Then I tried to do the same for another unit, but it didn’t work.

Spend the Wednesday night praying.

On Thursday morning, again decided to do the same thing the day before. Now it worked, but with a bit of glitch. After much fine tuning, the result's more acceptable.


I still have a lot of other difficult works to tackle. Must PRAY!!

True Love includes Forgiveness

“If my husband cheats on me, I will divorce him!” One Christian lady forcefully spoke up during my Bible Study class long ago but it still rings deep inside me.

The toughest part in a relationship is able to forgive those who wrong and hurt you. The closest relationship is between husband and wife.

Recently, the news of Cecilia Cheung’s interview appears in the internet. Cecilia Cheung lashes out at Edison Chen - Yahoo! Singapore News

No, I am not discussing about the man who has the same name as Thomas Edison, the greatest inventor. This is not a gossip blog, but a thinking-reflecting blog.

What strikes me about her poring out of her heart is this:

"On the first day the photos were leaked out, my father-in-law came to my place. He did not say anything but just pretended to be visiting Lucas. I think he was trying to send me a message: If there is anything, the family will bear it together! My mother-in-law gave me a porcelain figurine of two dolls holding a lotus leaf on which four Chinese characters 'feng yu tong lu' (meaning: we'll brave the wind and rain together) was engraved. I believe it was a message to me. My husband did not ask anything but just said, "Dear, it's fine. I'm here for you!"

While it seem common for celebrities to divorce, here we see that the husband standing up for the wife in such a time like this. Also, they are not Christian.

How will you response if you are Cecilia Cheung’s husband? Something we should think and learn from this.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on, do not sin again.” (John 8:11 NRSV)

Reflection: Eph 5:22-33 Strengthening Family Relationship

“Good title!”

That was my first thought as I read the Sunday Worship Order. A good title prepares the hearer.

“Maybe, it should be Strengthening Spouses Relationship”, knowing that Eph 5:22-33 is about husband and wife, not including children.

I was expecting to learn something about strengthening my marriage relationship after reading the title during last Sunday sermon.

Instead I kept hearing the word “power play”:
- Power play to get your need met
- Power play in aggression
- ….
- Submission relinquishes power play

After a while, I started counting the number of times it was spoken and lost track of the sermon.

As the speaker has said, he’s not going to expound the passage but only preach topically. That meant that he preached what he sees as appropriate for the congregation’s need. Half the sermon was on “power play” between husband and wife. Maybe, more than half. I remembered the hypothetical dysfunctional family illustration which the husband ended in adultery. Hmmn, I guess then that he knows that the congregation needs to stop engaging in “power play”. Being a pastor, he visits his flock, tends for them, and conducts pastoral counseling. Surely the message is appropriate to the congregation. OK, appropriate for the majority of the member.

But, I would be more prepared for the message would it have titled: “Power play in marriage”

Not able to get some practical aids on strengthening my relationship with my wife from this sermon, I need to do some serious reflection on my own.

The key to strengthening my marriage lie in me (as a husband) in loving my wife. Loves his wife is mentioned 4 times (vs 25, 28a, 28b, 33). Most of the time when a marriage gets into problems, it is the husband lack of visible love. We men don’t like to admit that but deep down inside us we know that what Paul said in Eph 5 is right.

How should I go about doing that practically?

Remember important occasions
The wife is meticulous over important dates – anniversary, birthday, mother’s day, Valentine days …

So, for the first time after more than a decade of marriage, I finally decided to order a bouquet of flower and deliver to her on her birthday. That was her birthday last year. Can you believe it if I tell you the bouquet is still in our bedroom even it is all dried up? See the impact of flowers? Let’s not sting on a bouquet of $60 flowers if that can strengthen spouses’ relationship.

Another thing I have not done is to bring her out for dinner, alone without the children, after more than a decade of marriage. So, I brought her out on Valentine eve. I had Bible Study on Valentine day so, no choice have to do it a day before. For me, these are very small and insignificant things. But to her, ….

Someone once joked that I am a “First class” husband.
No, I am an “Economy class”. I don’t have the money to be “First class” or “Business class”

Flowers, simple dinners are all economy class which we can all do that. Diamond and expensive gifts are “first class” which only first class husband can do. But the point in marriage is to fly the relationship forward, whether first class or economy class, it doesn’t matter.

Be Sensitive
Never talk to her when she is cooking. Any words touch the tips of the iceberg. Cooking is her Achilles’ heel. Just the other day, my daughter asked her to sign a school’s form while she was cooking. As I can guess, a barrage of thunder storm broke off. The girl was almost in tears, not knowing what she had done wrong. Later, I had to console and explained to the girl in privacy that it is not her fault. Every one has her soft spot. Just be sensitive not to press on it.

OK, I will just end here. It will get more sensitive.

Maybe ah, strengthening something need power leh.
So ah, power play in strengthening relationship is OK what!
That means the title is still good, right?

Work, work, work ...

Every time I face some very difficult problems in my work, I think of retiring.

OK, not every time, but at least some time.

When I graduated and starting work, I planned to retire at age 40. Then when I got married, I thought of retiring at age 50. After the birth of my third child, I told myself, I better retire at 60.

Why 40?

Well, it takes me 25 years to prepare for a career on earth. If I retire at the age of 40, I can have at least 25 years to prepare for a career in heaven. But then, 40 come and go. So, I jump into plan B. Preparing for career in heaven part-time. Smart right!!

That’s when I started to attend night classes in SBC, initially in the certificate program just for learning. Then, I attended more night classes and then day classes also. What amazes me is that there are many other Christians who think like me, but none from Bethany, probably. Getting to know such Christians and studying together make learning very enriching. I am hoping to get some Bethany to go for night class some days. Still looking ..

Still thinking of retiring …

Well, for the last two weeks till now, I am working on some very difficult work – creating a very high signal source. Very, very high frequency. 21.75GHz oscillator. I am doing a 21,750,000,000 cycles per second of signal. The last time I did that was in 2003 and sold it to this UK company. Don’t know how I did it then. Now, 6 years later, they gave me the order to do 3 units. Times are bad, so I have accepted it. I have been struggling and praying, praying and struggling.

Still thinking hard (for a solution lah!) and praying … (yah, keep me in prayer!!)