Life after Bethany … What’s next?

It has been exactly 4 years since my family left Bethany Presbyterian Church (BPC) and worships at Riverlife Church. So much has changed …

Looking back, one may ask why I have left in the first place. At that time, my children were beginning their teenage lives. The way I saw BPC youth ministry then, it was clear that my children will not be able to have a strong spiritual foundation. At one stage, during my Bible class, I asked a group of youth whose parents are deacon and elder of the church; “If your parents give you the liberty to decide whether to leave this class or sit here to discuss the Bible; what will you choose?” Almost unanimously, all said that they will not come to church. At that moment, I started to ask myself whether my children feel that way and the answer was clear. I need to provide a new spiritual environment for my children.

4 years has passed, I thank God that my children are very much motivated spiritually. And when their spirit is right with God, their lives are also on the right path. Their studies improved tremendously. They are faithful in prayer and devotion. They would seek out others who are down and pray for them and with them. I often received SMS and messages asking me to pray for them. Whenever things happen, their first thought is to seek God. That is really a huge encouragement to me. They are also more involved in the church, sometimes to the extent of over zealousness at the expenses of their studies. This can be a challenge to us as parents on guiding them to set the right priority. This may be a conflict at times. It is like a runner who wants to train and run very fast and far in the shortest time possible, not understanding that they will get injured. While the coach (aka parents) who asks them to moderate their training. The zealous runner will see the coach (aka parents) as lack of passion. That said, my children have always been an encouragement to me in their walk with God. They are now learning to listen to God. Theology and spirituality goes hand-in-hand and I am glad they understand this.

…

As for me, even though I have worshipped God at this new place for 4 years; I still could not call it my “oikos”. I am still a stranger there. Even though the church is more than 3000 strong, we hardly have opportunity to build relationship except within the cell group (less than 25 people). This is even so when we attended their church camp. There is no interaction. It’s like 4 Sunday worship and sermons squeeze together, no Bible discussion, no devotional time.

When I first started attending Riverlife for Sunday worship, it was much a loner. This gives me a lot of time before worship services for silent mediation and preparation. Soon, I cultivated a heart to be still before God (Psa 46:10) and to be eager to listen to HIM and not to talk (Ecc 5:1-2). As such, I usually enter into a time of worship whereby the Holy Spirit would reveal Himself to me during the services. I began to understand what Jesus said that those who worship God must worship in Spirit and in truth.

Other than worship, my spiritual growth is very much left to myself. As such, I am now a bit slack. I used to do my own personal Bible Study. Now that I am in this new place with no assignment, the motivation to be grounded in the WORD has stalled. So in 2015, I need to rejuvenate my love for God’s Word. I am starting with the 4 Gospels.

Moving ahead, I am seeking God for direction – should I stay or move on? Recently, during Michelle and Henry’s wedding in BPC, I still feel a tinge of unwelcome from a certain group of people as I crossed their path. Their body language of uneasiness and cold side-glance indicated than I am still not welcome. Even though I have left BPC, I still keep the door open if God wants me to return. I am still a member of the church and have been faithful in tithing. And so, after attending the wedding, it seems that the “door” is still closed.

In everything, God makes beautiful in His own time (Ecc 3:11)

Agape

The Way God get my attention

Sometimes it takes a really nasty situation to happen to teach us an insightful spiritual truth. My most recent car accident and the subsequent event is an indication of this.

The past few weeks were very hectic, so hectic that I kept thinking about the things I have been doing. On Thursday evening, after leaving office, I was careless and met a car accident. The lorry in front of me suddenly pulled a stop at the traffic light. Thankfully, only my car engine-cover and bumper were damaged. The lorry was ok. Why did it happen? I should not be thinking and pondering over bad situations while driving. It’s a very costly lesson.

Then, when I was washing up after dinner that night, I noticed that the kitchen sinks were choked. I hate choked sinks. The sinks were all right the previous night. Why did they happen suddenly? Add to the accident earlier, I lost my cool and became furious. I grumbled and grumbled. It spoilt the night and everybody mood. I felt so lousy. Why must this happen to me? Now, everything has to be interrupted and I have to look for a mechanic. The choked sinks have to wait.

Come Friday morning, I perfunctory read Our Daily Bread for the usual devotion with my hand phone. Most days, when the passage is familiar to me, I would skip the Bible text. This morning the text is the familiar parable of the soils – Matthew 13:13-23. I must confess that it has been quite a while when I learn to “listen” to the Bible. Today, instead of skipping the Bible text, I mindlessly touch the button, and the Bible text appeared on my screen. That’s when the real truth began to unfold …

The verse that jumped out to me was verse 22:

²² And the one on whom seed was sown among the thorns, this is the man who hears the word, and the worry of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.

The 2 things that hit me there and then was “the worry of the world” and “choke”. I have to admit that for the past few weeks, I was burden by the concern of my jobs, life and many earthly things. It began to occupy my thoughts more and more than the presence of God if I am honest to admit. What is particular interesting is the word “choke” appears on this text. So, this is the reason why a choked sink happened last night out of a sudden. Sure, I am a Christian. I believe in Christ. I treasure the Word. I even learn to be obedient and serve in many aspect of Christian ministry. But honestly, I cannot say that I am fruitful. To be fruitful is explained in the verse 23, - one who yield a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. We can serve in the flesh or we can serve in the Spirit. Flesh-led ministry will only leads to burn-out and little fruit. Spirit-led-ministry on the other hand is fruitful – 100fold, 60fold, 30fold. With a better understanding after reading and meditating on this parable, I am illuminated by the Holy Spirit! I began to see all the past service – teaching ministry; preaching ministry; youth work; anything that the church ask me to do – are Flesh-led-ministry. No wonder, there is little fruit. And why is it Flesh-led? A person who is burden by the concern of the world (or even the church) or the drive for wealth and success will not be able to have a Spirit-led ministry. The Holy Spirit is easily grieved or quench by us. In the eyes of fellow Christians, we may appear faithful when we are doing “church-works”. But as far as God is concern, HE is most happy when what we do is led by the Holy Spirit.

“So, this is the reason why God did not show me what ministry I should be involved after leaving the previous church.” I have prayed many times about this. Always, I sense that the Spirit just want me to learn to worship the Triune God. “Just be my friend (John 15:15)” was the reply I got from the Spirit prompting. God is teaching me what spirit Worship is. He teaches me in many precious occasions. That is another story.

Now I know, what God want me to do is just lay down the worry of this life.

Agape

Prayer that touches God

Emotion is a powerful tool … when tears flow, my compassion is being stirred. That was how I felt when I heard a visitor who came to join us in cell group fellowship last Friday.

She has an autism son who is now 28 years old. She shared of her struggles and rejection by people because of her son all these years. Tears rolled as she shared her ordeal. I believe this is her cross that the LORD has given to her to carry. Once, her son was sick so badly that he went into the Intensive Care Unit. She talked about the prayer she made when her son was lying there. “Jesus was never sick, never had flu. As Jesus was, so are you.” And for that, she claim God’s healing. True enough, the doctor called her that night that her son can be out of ICU. From her many sharing, I knew that most of them are not theologically right. For example, she said that she lay hand on her husband’s car that it will never meet an accident and no parking summon will be on the car.

That night, as I walked out of the cell meeting, I asked the LORD two questions: (1) “LORD, are we to be like you in all aspect of life?” Then within me I feel that He is saying, “No.”  Jesus is single, I am married and that is OK. Jesus is circumcised, I am not. And that is OK. Jesus is divine, I am human. And it is OK.

OK, if we understand the Bible wrongly, then my second Question is: “When we pray wrongly (because we understand the Bible wrongly), do we still get our prayer granted?”  Again, I heard Him said, “Yes!” A deeply hurt, weeping prayer always touches MY heart! (not the words of the prayer).

Then I began to understand. I believe God looks more at the pain in our hearts and the tears in our eyes than the words in our mouth when we pray, even if our prayers are theologically wrong.

As I ponder over this, 2 persons in the Bible came to mind:

Hannah was deeply distressed and prayed to the LORD, and wept bitterly. (1Sam 1:10) Her tears moved God to act and granted her a miracle child – Prophet Samuel.

King Hezekiah was at a point of death that he wept before the LORD. Even the prophet Isaiah told him to prepare for his death.

2King 20:3 “Remember, Lord, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

2King 22:19 Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before the Lord when you heard what I have spoken against this place and its people—that they would become a curse and be laid waste—and because you tore your robes and wept in my presence, I also have heard you, declares the Lord.

A compassionate and humble heart is more pleasing to the LORD than a good Bible knowledge. Beware: A good theological knowledge can be a stumbling block to drawing close to God. Also, it can swell the head but not humble the heart.

What then does God requires of me, just an ordinary man, I mused. This I believe is what God wants of me:

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
    And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
    and to walk humbly with your God.  (Micah 6:8)

And when I act justly, love mercy, walk humbly (and not sacrifice Micah 6:6,7)); then I know God is with me in everything I do or ask.

Agape

"Let the Fruits show the Tree"

What!! The pastor actually copies his Sunday Sermon outline?!

I was very surprised to come across an article in the internet with the same passage outline and the sermon preached in Church, 2 Sunday ago. 

Sermon Plagiarism? Not sure whether this is acceptable, but I feel that a pastor shouldn’t do this. I actually try other similar sermon outline for his message on my own and it is easily done. Why didn’t he try it out on his own?

The Pastor preached on a 5-fold ministry of the church from the passage in Eph 4:11-13 = (1)Apostles; (2)Prophets; (3)Evangelists; (4)Pastors; (5)Teachers. Many of the Charismatic churches use this passage as the basis to appoint their leaders as Apostles. Also in 1 Corinthian 11:28, Apostle Paul stated that: “in the church God appointed first of all apostles, second prophets,  third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of  healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those with speaking in different tongues.

Go, google “Fivefold ministry” and you will have a better understanding. The leaders are going to appoint an Apostle that is outside their founding leaders. What a big title! Another preacher stated that an apostle is the highest rank, like the General in the army. [I am sure he misunderstood the word, “first” in 1Cor 11:28].

Question Now, who appoint these ministries? Why is there a need to appoint Apostle?

 Answer: God

Question: So, how do we know that someone is appointed by God for a ministry?

My Answer: Let the fruits show the tree. You know that it is an apple tree by looking at its fruits. That is how God chooses it to be an apple tree. If people are blessed by your teaching, then you know what God has appointed you to be. In the same way, if every time you speak, crowd of people accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior, then you will know what God has appointed you to be. Likewise, it is for all other ministries and leaders.

Question: So, we don’t need to actually give people label and title?

My Answer: Exactly! The label and title comes naturally after a while when people see your fruits. Just keep doing what is passionate and what you know God calls you to do. Let the fruits that you bore be the label that people will tack on you. This is how God’s calling is. We should call those serving in full-time Christian ministry as “servant of God” rather than preacher, pastor, etc. Then after a while, let people see their fruits and their title will change to be Teacher so-and-so, Pastor so-and-so, Apostle so-and-so, etc.

Question: So, don’t need to appoint Apostle, meh?

Answer: Don’t need, lah.

Matthew 12:33 (NRSV) "Either make the tree good, and its fruit good; or make the tree bad, and its fruit bad; for THE TREE IS KNOWN BY ITS FRUIT."

Agape

You "heard" it right!!

What an assurance that I felt last Friday night (25 July)!!  Or was it mere coincidence if you believe in that? The theme for my Bible study a week earlier was the same as the invited preacher’s first session.

A Friday earlier, I was leading a Bible character study. It’s kind of hard to decide what to prepare. Will I get a favourable respond from the cell members? After considering a few Bible characters, I think it’s best to pray for guidance. Then the impression I got was “Live by faith, not by sight” (2Cor 5:7).

One person that I know that probably fulfil this is – Abram, contrast that with Lot in Genesis Chapter 13. And so this is what I have prepared, with my title is: Our decisions affect our destiny:

After the Bible study, I think the members did not seem to show any interest. Some were wondering why I chose such a topic. Maybe it is God’s way of telling me not to do it again. I don’t have a gift of teaching. I can’t even hear God clearly. This is probably the last time for me to do some Bible teaching and even learning how to hear from God.

On 25^th July, Friday, night, as I listened to Pastor Benny Ho teaching on the Book of Ruth, I felt so comforted that it’s as if God was telling me that I heard Him rightly. Yes, “Decision determines Destiny!” – as it’s the title of his first session. To confirm that, Pastor Benny Ho, also talked about Lot, making Moabic (freshly) decisions. We need to “walk by faith, not by sight”

“But, LORD, why did you show me this?” I quietly asked.

I looked around the worship hall, and most of my cell members were not present. Maybe God was using me to bring HIS message to them as they missed the opportunity to hear from such an inspiring expository preacher, Pastor Benny.

And so, “Yes, I may not be able to teach. But, thank you God, I heard your prompting, not my imagination. Amen!” J

Agape

Is God still healing people?

Yes, He does … and it has to begin with me!

During last Sunday worship service, the preacher Pastor John Koe, after a series of praying for those who were sick, closed with this remark: “Healing is simple. And it is free. There is no pain and you get a new (he mentioned a body part of someone who he prayed for and got healed, so he claimed).” Making such remark can sound victorious and full of faith. What about those who are not healed after praying. I wondered how they were feeling at that moment. I know of a cell mate who is not healthy and need surgery soon. Was she praying for healing?

In a previous Sunday, Pastor John Koe also mentioned that what if you prayed for someone and he is not healed. He simply answered: “Next!” Then he elaborated, “keep on praying until someone gets healed, if this person does not get healed, move on to the next.” Is this the right way to do in a healing ministry, I mused? Is that what the Bible teaches about praying for the sick?

Christians are divided on the issue of whether God still bestows spiritual gifts, one of which is the gift of healing (1 Cor 12:9). What is this spiritual gift of healing?  Simply put; if you have prayed for someone and that person (Christians or non-Christian) got healed by God through your prayer, then you may have the gift of healing, even though some or most of your prayers may not result in divine healing. The way it is healed can also varies – progressive healing which is faster than normal medical healing or immediate healing. Some may argue against this view and claim that those with the gift of healing will have 100% success with immediate healing like Jesus did. Since we don’t see that happen, then the gift of healing has ceased. For me, that is too extreme, as we are not divine and it is God’s prerogative to heal. He is the healer; we are His agent by praying, not the healer. So, whatever ways God choose to heal or to delay healing, I rejoice. Hence, healing prayer is also part of my walk with God.

And so my journey with Him begins … with me!

Recently, God has been very gracious to me. Many of my prayers are answered affirmatively. So I decided to pray for healing for myself. Now, what should I pray?

Last year, during the June BPCEC church camp, I injured my index toe of my left foot and suffered a black toe. It has never been healed till today. Then, during the December Standard Chartered Marathon, I injured another 2 toes on my right foot, and ended up with 3 black toes. And so, I always wear socks to cover up my toes whenever I go for cell meetings. Can God changed something visible like black toes back to normal? Well, the best way to find out is to pray. And so, in February, I prayed that God will heal my injured toes. And then, I just forget about it. Even when I go for cell meetings, I no longer wear socks to cover my feet.

Then, a few days ago, as I was showering and washing my hair, I saw that the toes on my right foot have fully recovered. The index toe on the left foot which was black the longest for more than 9 month is still black. My first thought was: “The first shall be last and the last shall be first” – how amazing it is! Praise the Lord! I would expect that the toe that was injured 6 month earlier would be healed 6 month in advance than the other two toes.

OK. Some may doubt that this is God’s healing. But to me, something black can become normal in last than 3 weeks and visible to the eyes is amazing. But, why did God choose to heal only 2 toes and not all 3, and to reverse the order of healing – the last to heal first? I got no answer, and so now I am praying for that injured toe, … and wait for His healing.

Agape

Which Leader should I Follow?

There is quote that will get leaders thinking: “If you think you are leading and no one is following, you are only taking a walk” – Benjamin Hooke

Wow! Most of the time, we like to be known as a leader. But often wonder why things doesn’t get moving, or the group is not growing, or people are not following. Worst still, we didn’t realize that we are just taking walk (and maybe get lost).

As I was thinking about Christian leadership, I couldn’t help but reflect on the recent re-shuffle of the cell group that I am presently attending. The cell has grown bigger (more than 20 members) and 2 new leaders have been appointed so that the group can split into 2 groups. The present cell leader will be promoted to higher office, as an Area Overseer. How the 2 new leaders were appointed was beyond my time as I only joined the cell about more 2 years ago.

In December 2013, the cell leader asked me which of the 2 new leaders would I want to follow. My selection was quite obvious. A Christian leader who openly tells the group that “there is no need to pray since God knows all my needs” and “I don’t need to have devotional time, as God is everywhere” will have difficulty leading, perhaps only walking partners. A Christian leader must speak with godly wisdom. Such talks will only de-motivate members to draw near to God.

Just last month, I am told that all the cell members will go to one group, leaving one of the new leaders without any follower. Through a series of miscommunication, I ended up with this new leader. So, it will be only 4 of us (our wives included). The Area Overseer will join us for the time being to add the number to 6, so that it looks less pathetic.

I guess the other members must be wondering why I choose to go with this new leader. Should I let them know of the miscommunication? Is there a need to explain?

God always has a peculiar way of preparing His children to do His Will. This time He prepared me for all this new development even before it happens. After I informed the leader who is now known as Area Overseer, of my choice of the leader I like to follow, my family went on a Cruise. During the 4 days of relaxation, the word “Friendship” kept appearing on my mind. As I sense the Spirit prompting, 2 Bible verses which I have remembered trigger my thoughts:

John 15:15 – “I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father.”

Ecc 4:9, 10 – “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other. But woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help.”

I remember that during the cruise, I asked myself this question, “would I be able to be friended with difficult people, or work with people I don’t quite get along or even seem doesn’t quite fit to be a leader?” I knew then that I would love to say, “No!” But the 4 days of reflecting on the work of Christ on the Cross led me to say, “Yes, in God’s Will”

And so, it all became clear why I kept thinking about “Friendship” during the Cruise. It is to prepare me to take the path less trout, to follow a leader who probably fewer people want to follow. And hopefully, I can obey Ecc 4:9, 10 – to help those who fall.

Agape

How Heavy is My Cross?

Last Friday night, I left the cell group meeting with a very heavy heart.

Hearing one member shared about the struggle of her Christian friend whom I shall call Ginny (can’t hear clearly her name) who has a daughter born with severe intellectual disability. As a result, the daughter could not speak, or do anything. Her daily food is only soy milk is getting very costly now that the girl has grown so big at the age of 15. Ginny has given up her job to take care of her. Every night, both parents have to wake up to clear the child’s throat of phlegm. The girl also has regular visits to the hospital and because of her size, has to be brought there by an ambulance. The family also has 2 younger children.

“Why Lord? Why must Ginny and her husband go through such a heavy struggle daily with this child? Isn’t life very unfair?” I asked silently with a tint of sadness and anger. At that moment, I felt the Spirit prompting: “The Cross”. As I searched through my memory bank, Luke 9:23 came to mind:

And He (Jesus) said to all, “If any man would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

“It is a daily cross 24/7, but isn’t that a very heavy cross?” I protested.

“Why so heavy?” I puzzled, without expecting an answer.

“Worthy” came the reply.

How heavy the cross that the LORD wants us to bear is measured by how worthy HE sees His children’s ability to bear it. God has considered them worthy and they have soldiered on with this cross for 15 years and many more. If the child is their cross, then we need not discuss whether this child will go to heaven or not, as the cell group did last night. Silently, I prayed for this family that God’s graciousness and strength be with the family as they faithfully bear this cross the LORD has laid on them.

Thinking of Ginny and their cross made me pondered over the difficult situations I am presently going through. Are they also considered my “cross” that I need to bear? No matter how heavy they are now seem so much easy to bear.

How heavy a cross am I able to bear?

What attitude should I have when faced with tremendous suffering and trial? Will I be able to response like what the Apostle James said – “Count it all joy, when you met with all kind of trials …” (Jas 1:2-4) 

It was a great lesson that the Holy Spirit is teaching me. I am humbled.

Agape!

The day I volunteered for Community Service

“Can you please donate to charity?” I asked. … Thank you!

Last Saturday morning, I volunteered to sell flags for Apex Harmony Lodge - home for the Dementia.

Tampines Bus Interchange is really a crowded place. Initially, I tried approaching passengers who were leaving the station. Some obliged, others just smiled and walk away. As always, I would say, “Thank you.” I think I have spoken: “Thank you” that morning more than what I have said for the whole year, definitely more than 300 times. 

Not many donated, and I was somewhat disappointed. What am I doing here? I could just put into my tin a hundred dollar and go home. 

Then, an old lady who was pulling a trolley walked up to me and dropped a coin into my tin. I suddenly remembered Jesus' words: "Truly, I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury". My heart was so touched by her giving. A tear almost drop. I think I can understand how Jesus felt that day watching in the temple when the widow gave her tithes. This woman doesn’t need to give, yet she did. Silently, I said a prayer for her. “Lord, bless her giving. Give to her a hundred-fold, no, a thousand-fold of what she had given! Amen”. 

Then a thought came to me. I will pray for those who give, … and those who don’t. For every donor, I said a prayer for them. For those who I approached but did not give, I also said a prayer for them. I prayed that those who did not give would have their hearts transformed to be a more gracious and kinder person, so that in future, they will be more compassionate. 

At the end of it all (4 hours), I have learnt to be thankful and … prayerful.

Servant or friend?

When someone suddenly drop by your home, which comes to your mind – being a host first or being a friend first?

To be a host, you need to prepare your house, cleaning and getting food and drink all ready. To be a friend, you are excited to fellowship and converse, desiring to know more of your friend and strengthen that relationship.

Actually, it all depends on what kind of friends you have. If your friends are the picky and inquisitive types, then being a host is better. They come for the food, inspect your house so as to make gossip and mostly to come and ask you to do favor for them. But, by and large people visit others because they value their friendship and to find out how our friends are getting on in life. Fellowship and conservation then is more important.

This thought cross my mind as I reflect about what took place last week over the National Day holiday when my daughter invited her cell’s friend for a sleep over. Gosh! My first thought was to get the necessary food and drinks for them, what to prepare for breakfast and whether our house was clean and tidy. I guess my wife has that thought in mind too. When the friends came, I became a bit agitated when none of my family members prepare drinks for them. “What kind of host are we?” So, I need to take charge. … [Little did we know that actually the friends brought along a lot of food].

But, my wife did a better job. She talked to 2 of them in the kitchen. That cool me down a bit and so I casually participated in the conservation. Then I just excused myself into the study room and listens to sermons on Youtube.

…

Then, it all became clear on this passage about Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42

³⁸ Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” ⁴¹ But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; ⁴² but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

Some preachers say that Jesus was saying to Martha that worship must come first before service. It is the “being” before the “doing”. For me, I now understand what Jesus was saying, HE values my friendship more than my service. He is not talking about worship, singing praise, praying, Bible reading or even convening a worship service when they visited Martha’s house.

“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15)

Mary has chosen to be Jesus’ friend and sit down to converse with him. Friendship involves talking and listening. There is nothing wrong with being a servant or a host. In every events and gathering, we need to meet the physical needs. Do it, but don’t that distract or burden you. I guess Jesus is telling Martha that day: “My dear Martha, enjoy the serving; enjoy even more the fellowship and conversation. I am not here as your BOSS, but as your friend.”

Agape

How to know you are filled by the Spirit

“Honk! Honk, honk!” the car on the right lane blasted away at me. He was quite a distance from my car as I signaled to change into his lane in order to make a right turn. Just a signal could agitate another driver, as if the whole road belongs to him. It was definitely an ungracious act. There is no need to vent one’s anger.

Calmly, I did not change lane. There was no unwarranted feeling in me. Maybe it was quite late into the night and I just don’t want any external situation to influence my peace. It was then that I recalled what Charles Swindoll wrote:

“Grumbling is a sure sign that the flesh in control. … Show me a grumbler, and I’ll show you a person who has distanced herself or himself from the Spirit of God. When we are filled with the Spirit, there is an overwhelming sense of thankfulness. We are not hard to please. We are happy to have whatever God provides.” – Embraced by the Spirit, page 84

I have always like Charles Swindoll’s books. His discussions center on the filling of the Holy Spirit. But not the charismatic type of signs & wonder, if you know what I mean. Typical of Charles, he talks to you as he writes. Then he anticipates your questions and answers them.

As you might have guess it if you know your Bible, the passage is on Ephesians 5:18-21

 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, ²⁰ always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. ²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Base on this verse, we can know that we are filled by the Holy Spirit when our hearts are …

1. My heart is teachable
2. My heart is melodious
3. My heart is thankful (grateful)
4. My heart is humble (submissive)

As I evaluate these 4 points that Charles wrote, I began to understand why many a times, there is this soft humming (may be a song) inside me. I am not a “song” person, but more a “Word” person. I would rather memorise and recite Bible verses than sing a song. When I am at rest, I would recall a Bible verse than to sing a Christian song. But since sometime last year after an “Empowering of the Holy Spirit” seminar, the soft humming seems to come quite often. So my heart is trying to be melodious.

I have no problem being teachable and thankful. Now, the most difficult of all … be humble.

I am still working on this area.

Agape!

How do you use your time?

[This morning while clearing files in my computer, I found this note written about 3 months ago…]

“Money can buy time.” A rich guy once told me.

If you travel by public bus, it may take you 70 minutes of travelling time. But if you drive, it will take you a shorter time.

OK. I don’t dispute that. But what do you do with that extra time? Use that time to make more money?

A few days ago, my car’s air conditioner broke down and I have to send the car to the garage and was told to leave the car overnight. “Why do these inconveniences have to be on me?” I murmured to no one in particular. Maybe God heard it, I am sure. In my heart, I confess I am a bit angry at Him. For many years, I have not taken public bus home and also to go to work.

It was a renewed experience.

I needed to walk for about 400m to the bus stop from office. The bus came and I had to run to the bus stop, not wanting to miss it. Now, I saw so many faces, old and young. Many were deep in their own thoughts. Most of them were working classes. An old lady who got up the bus almost fell when the bus jerked. Some passengers then stretched out to support her. The bus driver stopped, turned back to check the safety of the old lady. I could not hear what he said as I have already moved right to the back of the bus. I think he made an apology. I could see the caring hearts of passengers, even the bus driver himself. Riding on the bus, I could for the first time looked at the surrounding building, the people walking on the streets and the shops along the way. Why didn’t I notice the buildings and the simple lives of people?

Did I miss anything, if I drive my car to work and home everyday? How little of the common folks that I loose touch. Life on the fast lane keeps one away from the grass roots, blind to the common people. Riding on bus, I could rest, reflect, enjoy the scene outside and pray silently. Consider it as a waste of time if you must, but I feel good to pause, observe and think. Best of all my heart begins to touch base with the people. I have been contemplating for a long time whether I am suitable for charitable work. This bus ride helped me to see where my heart is. Then it suddenly dawns on me. Perhaps … God planned all this.

Sure, I saved a total of about 80 minutes everyday, 400 minutes a week (5 working days); 20,800 minutes or about 347 hours a year. I must have saved 290 days since I started driving. That is almost a year. What have I used that amount of time saved for? Nothing much, maybe using that extra time to sit longer in front of the TV.

Perhaps, it’s time to consider driving the BMW – Bus, MRT, Walk since COE is now so high and my car is near expiry.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom (Psalm 90:12)

Agape

Reflections on Bethany Camp 2013

Thank you – Constance, Diana, Jenny and Diane for all your heartfelt sharing during the many devotions and group discussions. Your openness has made my task as the group leader much easier!

It has been more than a month since the camp ended. Looking back, it all started sometime early this year when I told God during one morning devotion: “God, if someone from Bethany invited me to the June camp, I will join them.” When we pray, God works. And so …

Thrust suddenly into the forefront as a group leader has caught me unprepared. “Hey! I am supposed to be here to relax and fellowship, not to resuscitate my mind and time to prepare Bible studies.” Thankfully the sisters in the group are more than supportive in all their sharing, games and even the creative night. Rev Henry Hong, was our star in the skit!!

 I want to share 2 simple applications that I have taken with me from this camp. These are the areas that I will work on for the rest of my life:

1. The heart of the Father

The well known story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) was shared from the father’s perspective. It is now the story of the prodigal Father. God is overly indulgence in giving love.

It reminds me to extend love, forgiveness and be gracious to people around me, those who desperately trying to squeeze into my lanes, to those who are aggressive in speech, to humble workers in my office and the common people that cross my path daily.

I am learning to hold everything “lightly”. A broken life is one that holds no grudges; no covetousness; freely receive, freely give. It embraces the simple life.

2. Live with simple prayers 

The story of the 3 hermits by Leo Tolstoy will perhaps resonate with us for a long long time.

We campers will remember the prayer of the 3 Hermits: “Three of YOU, three of us, have mercy on us”. It does not matter whether we pray well with the Lord’s prayer or the simple hermit’s prayer, everyone prayed differently and it doesn’t matter how we pray. But it is the desire to pray from the heart that matter and that prayer draws our lives closer to God.

When it gets tough, don’t do it alone! Pray in all circumstances, in all your daily duties, chores and work. Pray and you will see the hand of God at works. Attitude will change. Faith will rise up. Pray in the Spirit, pray in tongues, pray in faith! Pray also when you feel the lack of faith.

This is one nice song that we learnt during the camp – The Millenium Prayer: I am learning to memorise the lyrics.

Agape



Reduce stress will improve happiness

Would you give up your stressful job and take up a easier job with lesser pay?

That was what my cell leader’s wife did. She may be the wife of the leader, but she is actually leading the cell, sharing and praying for the members. As such, last Friday, she share with the group that she gave up a higher pay job and asked to be the receptionist of the bank that she is presently working. Finally, the management agreed even though she is in her early fifty. Receptionists are usually the pretty young ones, as she said.

Today, I look around my workplace and ask myself who are the happiest people around. It is usually the workers with the least stress jobs. They have the least responsibility. The just do what is told, mingle freely with one another and when the time is out, you could hear them laughing as they leave the office. True, their pay is low but sufficient to keep life going.

To these workers, I see this in their lives:  Sufficient – stress = happiness

For the higher management, including me, our works are the most stressful. We encounter all the problems of the whole company and have to be on our toes to make sure everything is resolved. We need to keep the company profitable to avoid retrenching staff. Of course, we take the highest salary. In that sense, we may be seen as the rich. We fall into this category: Rich + highly stressed = misery

So, the inner voice in me reminded me to “reduce stress”. Isaiah 30:18 then came to my mind.

Therefore, the Lord waits to be gracious to you. Therefore, he will rise up to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are those who wait for him

Resting on His promise and seeking after God is my way to reduce stress. The greatest joy in my life is to see Him answering my prayers for the past few months. How His healing power came upon me and removed my physical pain that was sustained due to a fall.

Thank you, Lord for your promise in Isa 30:18.

Agape

The Importance of a conversation

When you meet an old friend, what do you talk about?

For me, I would like to know how the friend is getting on in life and what he is now pursuing. Also, how he has grown through the years. If he is a Christian, has he grown in the LORD? Certainly, I would avoid discussing general issues not related to him or talking about sport or other people’s life, which can become a gossip.

Last night, I met some old church friends at Benedict’s 21^st birthday. It’s nice to catch up with Casey and Alice for kindly inviting my family. We also talk to Jenny and Lily and many others. It is nice to meet up with them.

But one conversation was not so good and that taught me about striking a meaningful conversation. It so happen to come from the pastor of the church. When he saw me the first thing he asked, “So where have Dr. Philip Huan gone to?” I was actually not surprised of his weak interpersonal skill. Instead of asking how we are or talk about my spiritual life or the things I like doing, he talk about someone I vaguely know. Those who know me will talk about my jogging which I enjoyed doing. All my Poly and University friends know this. Those who are my close Christian friends will talk about our daily devotion or our walk with the LORD. These are the things I enjoyed sharing and encouraging one another.

Yet when I met the pastor, he is more interested in the former pastor of Riverlife Church, Dr Philip Huan, which left shortly after I visited Riverlife Church. I had only heard about one or two of his sermon before he left to set up another Church. Then the pastor told me something which I have no interest in. “Philip Huan, when he was pasturing All Soul Church, did not want to conduct any funeral service.” Why was he telling me this? Is he insinuating anything? Or is he gossiping about something. I would certainly grade that this is the worst conversation I had with a pastor. I did not say much and fortunately Rev Dr Tan came and so I roped her in to a conversation that is more enriching.

Last night, as I was back home and reflecting about the rendezvous, most of the old friends are still cordial to my family. Unfortunately, I still feel that the pastor communication skill have not much improved through the years. Before I left Bethany in 2010, he would always talk to me about other people and things of similar nature. When I visited Bethany in 2011, again it was the same talk, about Rev Vincent Lun, another pastor of Riverlife Church. Now, it is Dr Philip Huan. If only, he had just discuss how we have been growing in the LORD or what Bible passage I am reading or studying right now, my impression of him might have improved. Certainly, I would expect a pastor to talk to me about spiritual things than to gossip about another pastor. It seems that he does not know me even though I have been serving as a Christian Education Co-coordinator in Bethany for many, many years. How sad.

I have learnt about interpersonal skill yesterday, thank you pastor!

Proverb 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.

Agape

Pray & see God @work

I got a SMS this morning from my daughter: “Pray for me. J”

Today is supposed to be a school break but she needs to be at school

for training. It’s going to be a long day for her at school. All the

dance routine and training for the coming school performance.

“OK. Dear God, give Euodia the strength and joy for her CCA and all that she will be doing today. Bless her day and guide her in what she is doing. Thank you Lord. Amen! J”

As I sent the SMS to her, my mind was suddenly filled with Phi 4:6,7:

“Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Revised Standard Version)”

Many years ago, this was one of the first few verses that I, as a young Christian was taught to memorize and apply. How nice to know that my daughter is also learning to call upon the Almighty God.

On further thought, Phi 4:6 is also today meditation verse from the 40DITW (40 days in the Word). We are supposed to pronounce each word and ponder over it. What strikes me this morning from this verse was the word “in everything”. How often do we come to God in prayer only at the last resort, as in: “when all else fail, pray”. How often we like to rely on our own strength to get things done and when we do a good job, rejoice in our own strength. Isn’t it that this is the way of the world and not of Kingdom’s way? The Kingdom’s way is to “rejoice always, pray constantly, gives thanks in all circumstances …” and “In all your ways, acknowledge Him …”

OK. So it is that I went through the day  praying short prayers in many situations. There was a difficult technical job to be done. After some struggle and much prayer, I think I found a method to it. There was a meeting with a government body that my boss supposed to host. And he fall sick today! So I am to take over. And he vaguely explained to me what he wanted to discuss. Arh, I am caught in a tight situation. Pray, pray and just like the spirit leads. Thankfully, it turned out well.

Prayers do make a difference, and I see the invisible (hands of God at work) today!

Agape

  

Doing Mission in my own country?

The phone rang on Thursday night.

The cell leader asked, “Did you go through the Bible discussion question? Can you skip question number 2 during the Bible study discussion tomorrow?”

Last Friday was my duty to lead in Cell group Bible discussion. The topic was on Mission and reaching to the nations. Question number 2 deals with our attitude and behavior towards foreigners in our country, Singapore. This is a touchy topic in Singapore where 45% of the people in this country are foreigners.

I paused, and out of respect, say, “OK. We can do that.”

Perhaps, she knows the group better and how they feel about foreigners. But, isn’t it a waste of opportunity for a time of Christian education to teach our flock how to love the “unlovable”, if they find it hard to accept so many foreigner in Singapore now?

While many Singaporeans are crying foul on the country being crowded out by many nations in fluxing into this tiny country, perhaps … perhaps God is actually bring them to make mission easier for us? We now don’t need to go overseas to do mission, we can do it right at our work places, hawker centers, tuition centers, playground and even MRT.

OK, I am not pro-government or pro-foreigners. Although, I still prefer to keep the population small, but out of the inconvenient, maybe we can make use of the situation and learn to be more mission-mindedness, more caring and sharing, and be more thoughtful and culturally sensitive.

Hmmm… that is when I moved the hold Bible study discussion on the concept of cultivating mission-minedness. I even printed out my sermon notes and distributed to all the participants, which included my thoughts and reflections.

So, now, each time I make contact with a Myanmar, an Indian, a Chinese, a Pinoy, a Malaysian, it should be an opportunity to sow seeds for the Kingdom of God.

Matthew 28:19

“Go, therefore and make disciples of all NATIONS…”

Agape