Lost ... and getting back on track

It’s quite fearful when one is lost and does not know the way home!

Late last night, as I was walking around the quiet neighborhood, a teenager came out to me and asked for direction.

He asked, “How to go to Temasek Polytechnic?”

“Why do you want to go to Temasek Polytechnic, it’s so late now?”

Through the conversation (as I walked with him to a bus stop to catch a bus home), I found out that he was actually lost. He has taken a correct bus but headed toward the wrong direction and he ended up in Pasir Ris. He then wandered about in Pasir Ris. The fear in his face showed it all. But boy being boy (he is in Secondary 1), he was struggling to contain his emotion. I got him to talk to his father through my hand phone. …

After waiting for a long while with him at the bus stop, he finally got up the bus. It must be quite an experience for him.

…


All we like sheep has gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way …

Being lost and gone astray is quite scary. We need help to get back on track again. Spiritually, we are also like that. By making a wrong decision, we drift off and get further and further away (ending up in the East of Singapore!).

I also thought about my children who are not much age difference from this boy. How would they respond if they were lost? Are they smart enough to find their way home? More worrying is, would they know that they are spiritually going astray?

Agape

A Book of Complaining

I have been reading the Bible quite constantly since the beginning of this year, alternating a book from the Old Testament and the New – Genesis, Mark, Exodus, Acts, Leviticus, Hebrews, Numbers … Intersperse reading with some wisdom chapters of Psalms and Proverbs to spice up the reading.

The Book of Number, in particular strike me as a book of complaining. The people complain of no food and no water. The spies complain of difficulty to take the land of Canaan. The Levites complain and rebel. Even Mariam and Aaron (sister and brother of Moses) complain.

It’s tough to live with people that’s always complaining and bitching around.

The results? … All these complainers die without entering the promise land. And they have to move about for 40 years aimlessly. The Book literally covers a 39 years span of time.

Maybe I complain too much also?

Well, thank God for reading this book.

It was quite enlightening.

I may spend a lot of time this year to study this book. :)

Shaming those who fail to turn up for Sunday worship

A new and powerful way of shaming those who do not turn up for Sunday worship – publish their names on facebook (if they have a facebook account). The name list is not in alphabetical order. My name is first in the list. Clearly, I am the most hated person in Bethany Presbyterian Church now. :(

Only the powerful people in the church dare to do that to their sheep. The pastor’s sister-in-law is the church police now. This reminds me of the temple polices in Jesus’ time. They came and arrested Jesus during the night. … (you know the rest of the story)

Good sermons are hard to come by

After missing so many good sermons for the past 20 years (?), the last 2 months of Sunday sermons have totally changed my life perspective and bring me closer to the Almighty.

Some people, if not, most people from Bethany may be thinking that I have backslided. Received an email lately:

Hi Mark

Its a long time since I last saw you in church. Hope everything is well with you. …

I hope you will return to church although I do not know what problem you are facing. From my own personal viewpoint, I believe it is very important to fix our eyes on Jesus and do not let happenings affect us. Ultimately it is to the Lord that we will answer when we meet HIM.

Brother Mark, I hope to see your family again. I will pray for you all.


My reply:

Thank you for your concern. We are fine and doing well.

… I am attending a church near my house that provides thought-provoking, soul-searching and practical sermons every Sunday. I wouldn't want to miss such sermons, yet.

Blessings

Yah, I have learnt alot from the sermons and the style of delivery, structuring, and oratory skills. Each Sunday is a different speaker. This month March, the church is inviting well- known Singapore Speakers - Rev Dr Edmund Chan, and Rev Dr (Bishop) Solomon, Then we will have Gordon MacDonald from the USA coming. We have read his books, now to hear him speak.

Problems? No! ... Growing? YES!! :))

How exciting!

Getting impatience?

“Dad, the students are crossing!”

My daughter blurted out as I tried to ease my car through a seemingly never ending stream of students at the zebra crossing just outside her school this morning.

There was no road marshal to control the flow of students crossing today. School starts later on Monday.

I have been waiting at the zebra crossing for many minutes. And the students just stagger along, moving at their own sweet time with gaps in between. So, I just ease through the gap. It looks pretty harmless anyway.

Maybe I got a bit impatience after waiting for seem like a long time. As usual, I try to rationalize with her. “No lah, I just squeeze through. It quite safe”

On reflection, has my action being callous? What if a student suddenly walked faster and I happened to knock him down or just cause a minor injury? Certainly, I was at fault, no matter what. What if a traffic police is around …

Love is patience, Love is kind…

It’s good that she pointed this out to me. :)

A Good Sunday Sermon

How does one consider a Sunday service sermon as a good message?

For me, the last 2 Sunday sermons that I heard keep appearing in my mind for the rest of the week. The message keeps re-appearing and prompting me to act and do what it says throughout my days.

It's amazing that how such a message can captivate me (and the congregation, I guess). Maybe, that is why the church is growing by leaps and bounds.

Last Sunday sermon was delivered by a Singaporean, definitely younger than me. A youth Pastor. Yet, the message is simple and clear. The strong point is that: he spoke to the congregation, not reading from a prepared write-out.

So different.

Glad I am there to here it.

Strange email

I seldom check email these days, but received a strange email today from someone I know long time ago. (He had my email address):

Hello.

Hope you are doing well today? I am in great sorrow writing this note, I could barely think straight at this point, I'm sorry I didn't inform you about my travelling. I am presently in Madrid, Spain on short programme and as I write to you now, its unbelievable am stranded, got robbed at gun point on my way to a hotel and my money, credit cards, phone and other valuable things were stolen, thank almighty God for save keeping my passport. I really need your urgent assistance quickly, I need loan of $1,500 to sort out my hotel bills and other transactions or any amount you can raise for me, I promise to refund it back to you with interest once i get back home. I have some money in my account but i can't access any here right now, already cancelled all my cards immediately after the criminal stole my things. I am left at the public internet library where am making use of the free internet access so that I could contact whomever that can help me. I will forever be grateful if you can help me, Waiting to hear from you quickly because my return flight leaves soon but need to sort the hotel bills and other expenditures. Please save me from been embarrassed.


Name: XXX XXX XXX Sam

Address: Paseo De Las Delicias 26, 28045 Madrid, Spain.

Text Question: What is receiver's date of birth?
Answer: 21 Dec 1970


Please remember to send me full details of the transfer such as MTCN (money transfer control number) or scan copy of the transfer receipt so that i can get the money here without any delay or problem. Trust me; I will refund back the money to you including the transfer charges on my arrival. I will check my e-mail again later to have the western union transfer details.

Thank you for your help



How would you response?

Pants for the Flowing Water

It's such a long time that I post in this blog, ... but yesterday morning I woke up with this song on my head - As a deer panteth for the water...

Maybe I was hoping to see more people thirst for God and a thought keeping coming to me.
So I started to write it all down on a piece of paper what to do.

Would the plan materialise or just shelf it somewhere in my cupboard like all the others?


Psalms 42

Me & My Big Mouth

It has been weeks of deep thoughts!

All because I want to know what God is doing in Bethany. Maybe I shouldn’t ask HIM this question. Who am I to ask the Almighty what HE is doing. And, that kind of questions should be asked by the Pastor, the Elders and Deacon of the church, not me.

Me: “Lord, what are You doing in Bethany?”

Lord: “See all those who stray away and have not return for a long time?”

Me: “Huh! Sorry, have forgotten them …”

Lord: “Not me, I remember them. Always on the look out for them to come back to me.”

Me: “Must need a lot of patience though”

Lord: “Sure have. Want to join me to bring them back?”

Me: “What? Me? Lord, You ask the wrong guy. I don’t have the persuasiveness to talk. I can’t talk lah!”

Lord: “Well, why then ask me what I am doing in Bethany?”

Me: (thinking) “Ooop! Me and my big mouth” :(

Morale of this experience – It’s better not to be able to hear what God is speaking than to hear and not obey. I now know why being an Old Testament prophet is a tough job.

Agape

The parable of the COMING HOME

Last night, as I was walking along the quiet street along my house, thinking and praying for some people, the thought about “COMING HOME” struck me. I shall call it the parable of the COMING HOME.

OK, probably, I have read a lot about parables for the last 3 weeks. And so, it infiltrates my thoughts. You know, the story in Luke 15:11-32 about a boy who left home and was warmly welcome home by the father? Yeah, I always love to write a parable like this but with a modern and local version that is close to all our hearts. And yes, this one speaks to me right now.

I was praying for those who have left our “HOME” and have not yet come back. We or rather I as a longing father is looking out for them. Then there is another son who is helping in my home. I want this son to also join me in bringing the other brother home. Got the hint? Can guess what and who I am praying?

If you are reading this, think:
(1) Am I the son who has left home?
(2) Am I the other brother who is working at home? Would I join the father to get my brother back home?
(3) I may be not the sons or father, would I join this father (that’s me, Mark) to help bring back the son?

OK, I am blogging in parable and if it speaks to you, you probably understand what I am writing.

Agape

That's Life!

My colleague is back from medical leave for one month and yet my boss still wants me to report and cover some of his jobs which I was doing during his absence. :(

My feelings are …. %#@^ ??? :(

And the projects -many and difficults -are still in development with problems. (which probably stir up fear)

But my LORD is my strength, I will not be shaken.
He makes my feet like hind feet,
He steers me through the quicksand;
And in HIS strength, I will gladly do what is before me!

Learning to seek peace

When things go wrong, finger pointing is very common :(

Worst is when you are unknowing caught into it. And that is what I am in the midst of it now.

Since last year, we have collaboration with an Australian guy (stationed in Singapore) on a UK project. My engineer, who resigned last month was working on it and has handed over to this Australian guy since September 2009. We thought everything was going on smoothly, since we have not heard of it for the whole one year or so… Then last week, he started to find faults. He started to question our design, the way we did things and all the craps … emails that are very hard to read and swallow, and arouse an immediate retaliation.

And on many occasions, my spirit within me was very stirred up. It’s a challenge to hold on to peace. Many times, I felt like speaking up and replying to all the emails but … still it take great strength to remain calm. And thank God, the fruit of the Spirit is GENTLENESS – strength under control.

And so, I just keep to the technical issues and try to resolve the problem. As to the sarcastic remarks about our design not properly done, poor ways of doing things, etc… these are just personal opinions that I choose to ignore.

During Sunday Bible study, one verse seemed like God’s voice telling me what to do:

Depart from evil and do good;
Seek peace and pursue it.
(Psalm 34:14)

No wonder I was very much constrained in spirit not to do evil things.


Monday (yesterday):
As I was talking to my product manager who was also involved in this project, he started cursing and using the f*** word at the Australian guy (though not in his presence). I thought I was the only one getting emotional.

I am still learning to seek peace.

Devotional Thought: Being Approachable

How approachable are you?

When people have trouble or need an advice, would they approach me to seek me out for help?

NO! :(

These thoughts linger on my mind as I read today’s devotions from Our Daily Bread on Mark 2:13-17. Our Lord Jesus Christ was so approachable that even sinners and tax collectors ate with him.

As for me, no, I don’t think people see me as approachable. There are even people in the church who reject me as friends in Facebook. At least 5 people, as far as I can remember. So, that says so much about me.

And that is the main reasons why I am disqualified to be a leader in the church. It is not about doing things here and there in the church.

It is about connecting with people.

Sermon reflection: The sanctity of Life

Actually, the passage on Leviticus 17 is not about calling us to respond with:

“Lord, what can I do for you?”

or

“Lord, what do you want me to be?”

The whole passage is about BLOOD. And blood is LIFE (verse 14).

(Ya lah!, the word “blood” keeps repeating in the whole passage)

When an animal is killed, the blood is taken out and the animal dies. In Leviticus 17, the Israelites were told not to anyhow dispose the blood or even eat (or drink) the blood (verse 4 and 10).

If the animal is used as a sacrifice, the blood must be brought to the entrance of the tent of meeting (verse 4). If the animal is slaughtered for food, the blood must be poured out on the ground and cover with earth (verse 13). Here, we see that when death occurs, it must return to the LORD. (The tent of meeting is GOD’s presence (v4). The earth (v13) belongs to GOD). So, life or death, the animal belongs to God.

We all know that God is the creator and giver of LIFE (Genesis 1 & 2). So this passage reminds me that God is also the receiver of DEATH. Whether I live or die, I belong to GOD. Likewise for every creatures that have life, including animals and human. Do not take the life (which is the blood) and offer it to idols or abuse it by drinking it. Only God has the right to life.

It’s all about putting God in first place of my life, even if I were to die (Lev 17:1-9). Secondly, it’s all about the sanctity of life - the life of people (Lev 17:10-16). That pretty much sum up the GREAT COMMANDMENT – love God, love people (Luke 10:27.28).

It calls me to my relationship with GOD and with people. It’s not about doing things for GOD. Neither do I need to be someone for GOD. It’s like the story of the footprint in the sand.

OK, so I need to always look at all people with respect, they too have the rights of life as they are also created in the image of God, no matter how lowly they are in society.

The most important in this earth is LIFE, it last for eternity.

Change my perspective, change my life! :)

I am learning to see the present in the light of the end.

The last one month of difficult encounters and maintaining reflective silence has taught me many things. Above all, I learn to look at things from different perspective.

Recently I am reading this book – Finishing Well by Dr. David Wong. It’s about Bible people living their lives and how they close their life’s chapters. It is a wonderful book with many insightful lessons to learn – how Joseph closing a chapter of hurt; Naomi closing a chapter of loss; David; Samuel; etc. I wish all my Christian friends read this easy-to-read book. (David Wong is a Singaporean pastor, trained in Fuller Theological Seminary).

In this book, he shared a wonderful illustration:

In 1946, following the end of the Second World War, a Jewish prisoner-of-war published a book about his years in the concentration camp of the Nazis. In his book, Viktor E. Frankl describes his time in prison as “one misery after another.” He was constantly worrying about whether there would be enough food for the day, whether the foreman at work would be cruel, whether he could find a string to tie his shoes.

This went on for a while. One day he decided that enough was enough. He saw a vision of himself standing in a well-lit auditorium addressing hundreds of people sitting in posh cushioned chairs. He was dressed in a suit and giving a lecture on what life was like under Hitler during the war.

“I became disgusted with the state of affairs which compelled me, daily and hourly, to think of only such trivial things. I focused my thoughts to turn to another subject. Suddenly, I saw myself standing on the platform of a well-lit, warm and pleasant lecture room. In front of me sat an attentive audience on comfortable upholstered seats. I was giving a lecture on the psychology of the concentration camp!

“All that oppressed me at that moment became objective, seen and described from the remote viewpoint of science. By this method I succeeded somehow in rising above the situation, above the sufferings of the moment, and I observed them as if they were already in the past.”

From the day Viktor Frankl saw his life’s final outcome, every experience was viewed differently. Every experience was viewed from the perspective of his vision. Every experience, however hard and painful, became material for his lecture on life in a German concentration camp. His life took on a different perspective, a life’s perspective.

***

This wonderful life’s perspective of Viktor Frankl has changed tremendously my recent feelings and encounter. It no longer become stressful, but become material for my future use…

Pondering ...

Many personal things happened to me for the past 2 weeks. Stress started to build up.

I guess the best way to handle it is to be silent, be reflective and prayerful.

Hence, I did not write anything for the last few weeks.

Isa 43:2

Is God with me?

Caught up in the daily hustle and bustle of life, how do I find the presence of God in my daily activities?

“Busy” is a common reply I hear these days when we ask: “How are you today?” My daily offices work can drive me to the wall. Problem … problems … more problems …

How then can I still maintain an open communication and sensitivity with HIM as I do my daily work, rushing through events and even engaging in a conversation with colleagues?

2 recent incidents came to mind:

On Monday night, as I was driving out of my company’s drive-way, a car came to a sudden stop right in front of me, blocking my exit. He could have stopped a bit further up for me to move on. Clearly, it was inconsiderate. Any driver would give a loud honk. (That was my first reaction). Interestingly, the spirit within me, prompted: “Be gracious, be gracious”.

“Good reminder, thank you” I replied. The busyness during the early part of the day may have made me forget about HIM. HE is with me all along, and appeared when I was almost going to do some stupid thing! How can I forget that? :(

***

We had a 2-hour long project meeting chaired by a project manager yesterday. Sure, there was a lot of “overlooked” errors and unknown. Big bosses tend to make comments as if they are omniscient. Everything they say is right (only in their own eyes). Sitting there, I somehow silently prayed for the project team. This is the first time I did that during an office meeting. Perhaps, we are in the midst of something difficult and I need God’s guidance. Or maybe I happen to sense HIM around. Whatever it is, it is good to know that the LORD is present.

This morning devotion is on Psalms 63. Wonder how David sought God?

O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water. (Psalms 63:1)

Looking for help – found it!

I kinda finally see some light coming out of the tunnel!

For the past 9 months, I was working & supervising my engineer on this research and development project in my company. I wrote a research proposal and submitted to the government for funding last year. After some many months of arduous work and many help from my boss, it was finally approved.

Then come the toughest part – to start working on it. It is a 20 and 30GHz satellite communication transceiver. Honestly, it is something quite beyond me. And in the proposal I have left out some very difficult portions of the project unknowingly!

I lift up my eyes to the hills – from where will my help come? (Psalms 121:1)

The past few months were tough. But … thank God we have a very good Australian friend, John from Queensland. I knew him since 1997 when I visited his company and learn some work from him. He is near retirement now but still moving around giving consultant here and there. Dr. John was also and adjunct professor in Queensland University. I manage to correspond with him regularly on this project and through the emails, he has been very helpful in his comments and still as sharp in his thinking and analysis. (And the thing is, he doesn’t want us to pay him, even though I mentioned to him about consultation payment).

My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth (Psalms 121:2)

Yesterday was my best day in this project. We finally managed to get some good results for the 30GHz waveguide transition. At this frequency, a 0.1mm different in length is like day and night, a total error to a near perfect results.

There are more hurdles to cross. We manage to get through this one! So the work can now continue to move…. after months of dead block.

Thank you John, and THANK YOU LORD! :)

The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time on and forevermore (Psalms 121:6)

Devotional Thought: When is a good age to serve God?

Today’s devotion from the Daily Bread is kind of interesting. Ever since I past my 50th Birthday last year, I felt that I just need to do thing differently in the church. I need to be more focus in my area of service rather than be a “generalist” – whatever people want me to do. But I could not pin point why I have that kind of feelings. Reading today’s Bible passage, my thoughts went: “ah- hah!”

http://odb.org/2010/07/22/don%e2%80%99t-just-retire/

Levites starting serving from age 25 to age 50. After age 50, they perform supervisory and mentoring role.

The Scripture passage is from Numbers Chapter 8.

23 The LORD said to Moses, 24 "This applies to the Levites: Men twenty-five years old or more shall come to take part in the work at the Tent of Meeting, 25 but at the age of fifty, they must retire from their regular service and work no longer. 26 They may assist their brothers in performing their duties at the Tent of Meeting, but they themselves must not do the work. This, then, is how you are to assign the responsibilities of the Levites."

First, I did it right by not continuing in the English Service committee!

Secondly, I am doing mostly as supervisory and teaching / mentoring role. This is what I felt strongly after crossing the Jubilee years.

Now I know what I need to do! :)

Coming to the end of my role …

Performing my role as a ministry leader in the church is no easy task …

For the past few weeks, I have been evaluating and pondering over my role as the Share Groups co-ordinator. It has been almost 3 years now. I could easily do the bare minimum and still get by, by remaining status quo. But being a highly driven person, I set out with a highly ambitious plan to move the share groups forward. But as I prayed for the Bible Study leaders, I realized that most of them may not be able to move as fast as I want. My plan was shelved and I need to focus on the leaders.

Are they willing to bear the cross as leaders?

Are they willing to walk the second mile as servants?

How close are their relationships with God?

I wanted very much to raise the standard of the Bible Study leaders and inculcate in them a love for the Word of God. How faithful are their devotional lives?

I believe that a leader should lead by example and be transparent in their lives. And so I started this blog, sharing my life with you all – my daily struggles, my personal thoughts and encounter with the Almighty. Hopefully, as they see my life, they will learn to shares theirs with their flock.

Secondly, I personally take on the task of training the leaders. I have voluntary taught many lessons – (1) Overview of the Book of Judges; (2) Overview of the Old Testament; (3) Studies of the Book of 1 Timothy; 2 Timothy and Titus (4) Understanding Epistles; (5) Understanding Biblical Narratives; (6) Study of the Book of 1 Peter. The most recent one is the study of 2 Samuel. How I wish the Bible Study leaders have this hunger for the Word of God. But sad to say, most of them have not showed any interest and attendance for learning are usually low. And so I could not even have more regular Bible discussion with the Bible Study leaders. Most likely, I am just NOT qualified to teach. I don’t even have a theological degree to start with. Only the church Pastor has a Master of Theology. How I wish I can learn from him! But I only hear him preach on Sunday. So my bible knowledge is limited and I failed as a teacher. Also, in my zeal to teach, I have on many occasion use life examples to point out biblical lessons. This has made many to see me as judgmental. Just today, Pastor mentioned this in his sermon that he has learnt not to be judgmental. (a repeat of what he has hinted to me previously) I understand what he meant. Thank you. I will be more careful and not give any negative life examples as I do my duty as a teacher so as not to be seen as judgmental.

So, the end of the road is near. It is about time to step aside and move on to do other things and find new pasture.