Today, I
hear God telling me: “You don’t pray much these days.”
I confess to
God that I have slacken last week. “December, with no cell meetings cause me to
slack.” God, please forgive me for giving excuses.
And so, my
mind started to wander into the simple prayers “encounters” that triggered me
and humbled me to draw nearer to God.
People size you up by how
you pray:
#1. In Prayer Meetings
Whenever we
are in a group prayer, people instinctively are drawn to those who are eloquent
in prayers. They are the so call “prayer warriors”. Some people also take the
opportunity to display their “spiritual” level of maturity by their prayers. That
leave us (me included) with nothing to “show-case” and so if we can be quiet,
or avoid being called to pray, we feel more at ease. This is the kind of prayer
meetings that I loathe to attend. No wonder, most Wednesday evening prayer
meeting often has low attendance.
Last year
2020, during the Alpha meeting I was appointed into the prayer group besides
being the helper in one team. I suspected that I was appointed to be in the
prayer group because, during one mock / trial-run Alpha zoom meeting, I shared
that I often pray while driving alone. The Alpha ministry leader/trainer
happened to be in my mock Alpha meeting. I may have sound boastful while
sharing about prayer and that triggered him to get me to be involved in prayer
for the Alpha sessions (12 sessions in all). There are 3 people in the Prayer
Group. Since the other 2 people try to be very passive, I took the initiative
and put up a prayer list (as requested by the Ministry Pastor). And, so with
that, I became the prayer IC. And I had to update the prayer list weekly. Although,
the 3 of us took turn to pray each week, somehow for the last 3 sessions, the
ministry leader specifically called me to close each sessions with prayers. I
remembered clearly during the 12th (final) sessions on 22nd
October 2020, he specifically said: “I ask Mark Lim to close us with prayer, AGAIN!” to the giggles of
several girls who were in the Alpha zoom
sessions. He made it so obvious that he was using prayer to humble me. (“So you
think you are so spiritual in prayer, right? Then pray for us, lah!). I must
confess that I did not complete the prayer that final night. I actually broke
down in tears near the end of my prayer and Karen, the administrator continued
with a final sentence and closed the prayer for me. That week as the most
stressful week for me as my wife broke her leg on 19th October and I
was no longer in a clear state of mind. [Bye-bye, no more Alpha sessions for
me]
#2. In Leadership gathering
I remember
the time when I was in the Precept Sunday Lunch Leadership gathering about 4
years ago. I was new to the Precept Ministry and the Elder who was the Advisor,
was present. Seeing me as a newbie to the group, he started to talk to me (in a
group), perhaps to size me out whether I was qualified to facilitate Bible
Study Discussions. During the conversation, he would often quote Bible verses
without mentioning the Scripture Passage or context to see if you follow
the discussion. This is the kind of Christians’ sparring that are meant to
indirectly show off or test others how knowledgeable someone are well
Bible-versed. Then before the meal started, he called me to “say Grace” for the
food. Instinctively, I knew in my heart that he was again sizing me up to hear
how I prayed. I mean, in such a gathering, shouldn’t the top leader give thanks
instead of a lowly new guy like me to do it, Jesus always take the lead to give
thanks for the food, (see John 6:11) Since he displayed such well-trained
in Bible verse, he should know that giving thanks to God for food is the duty
of the top leader. [Even at home during meal times, it is my duty as head of
the family to give thanks to God for the food, like Jesus, not any of my
daughters].
#3. In Cell gathering
Many years
back in my previous cell meeting, we often separated into men’s and ladies’ for
prayers during the cell gathering. Once, during such a prayer meeting, the
floor was opened for anyone to pray. After a long wait, no one wanted to
verbally pray out loud and so, I took the initiative to pray for the men by
names in the group. It was a long but simple prayer without any eloquence or
drama. I remembered clearly after my prayer, one member smiled and said to the
group that asking God for needs was very “childish” and we should thank God instead of asking
for needs and helps. Then he prayed a Thanksgiving prayer (as if to teach me
how to pray). All this while, I kept quiet and accepted the fact that I was
childish (or child-like) when it comes to prayer.
God don’t size you up by
how you pray
I often wonder
how God would see me when He hears me praying to Him. Does He see me asking for
needs and helps, very childish and is bothering Him?
Howard
Hendricks, Professor of Dallas Theological Seminary shared a time when he was
attending a Wednesday night Bible Study and Prayer Meeting:
A man in our
church came to Christ and decided to show up for a prayer meeting and Bible
Study on Wednesday night. We had the study and then we broke into groups for
prayer.
“Hey, Howie.
Where are we going?” he asked me as we headed down the hall.
“We’re going
down here to pray,” I said.
“Well, then
I’ve got a problem.”
“What’s your
problem?”
“I can’t
pray,” he admitted. “I mean, I can’t say it the way you guys say it.”
I said, “Friend,
that’s no problem. Thank God for that.”
So, we began
praying. I knew he wanted to participate, but he was a little hesitant. Finally,
I reached over and prompted him to go ahead. I’d give anything to have a
recording of what happened next.
He said, “Lord,
this is Jim. I’m the one that met You last Thursday remember?” (I thought he
was going to give God his zip code.) “I’m sorry I can’t say it the way the rest
of these guys say it, but I really love You. Honestly, I do. And hopefully,
after I know You awhile, I’ll be able to say it a lot better. Thanks a lot. I’ll
see you later.”
You know
what that man did? He turned on a prayer meeting. You see, the rest of us are
saying prayers. As usual, we were reviewing our theology, taking our tour of
the mission field, scrapping the Milky Way. This guy was praying – just talking
to God. Without realizing it, he was way ahead of the rest of us because he was
honest before his heavenly Father. The only thing that ever moves Him is our
heart. - Howard Hendricks, Living By the Book; 2007; page 101
Yes, people
listen to our prayer and size us where we are spiritually. (I can almost
imagine how that Elder grade me during the Precept Lunch meeting if I pray like
this man which Dr Hendricks talk about). But God sees our heart. Every time I
draw near to God in prayer, I am reminded of Jesus’ parable on prayer in Luke
18:9-14
So, how’s
your prayer? A Pharisee’s kind of prayer or the tax collector’s kind of prayer – simple, short and
helpless plea to God?
Agape
