It's all about choices

Choices!

Many times in life, we are faced to make decisions, to choose our options. Occasionally though, our choices can reveal who we are, our values and integrity.

During our cell fellowship, one member was talking about the dilemma of running a mini-mart and sustaining his business. The rent of the shop is high. There are many restrictions. Cost saving is always a balance to provide good services and yet to be profitable. Sometime, there is also temptation to run foul against the Law by selling cigarette to underage children, thinking that the sellers can get away. Law enforcers do use these children as bait to catch such transgressors.

That is when I blurted out: “Honesty is the best policy!”

“Not so,” another member challenged.

He then shared that quite sometime ago. He posted an item to sell on eBay. It took him more than a year before someone showed an interest in his item. But the buyer wanted him to declare the item that he intended to sell as a “gift” so as to evade tax in his country. To secure the business, he complied. He believed that most businesses are done in this way, evading the Law whenever necessary.

What would you do, in such a similar situation?

This reminds me of Genesis Chapter 12 when Abraham went to Egypt. To avoid being killed because of his beautiful wife, he lied that she is his sister. Sure, it spared his life, but his integrity is tarnished.

That is when I heard a inner voice within me whispered: “Walk by faith, not by sight”.

Here is a brother who walks by sight. He sees an opportunity and makes decision on what he sees. He knows that the Law will catch up on him. Also, he will save the time to wait for a honest customer. On the other hand, to walk by faith, he will have to stand in integrity and not lie, believing in faith that God will bless his choice and sent a better customer. Even if God choose not to, he learns to wait on the LORD, whatever the outcome may be. That is walking by faith. He then enters into Genesis Chapter 22, like Abraham; choosing to obey God’s command to live in obedience.

Does it pay to live uprightly, or do we just follow the world?

The choice is yours.

But know that there is accountability at the end of life’s journey.

Agape

Is Masturbation a sin?

OK, I am touching on a very sensitive topic.

I have never heard a Christian leader discusses this, much less preach about it. But, I believe, this is one topic that all Christian men and boys want to know but dare not ask. So, let me start by sharing an email:

Samson (I changed the name) wrote:

“Is masturbation a sin?

I’m 17 and I have been doing it for a long time

but I don’t know if I’m hurting God. I have stopped from doing

it for about 3 weeks now but I feel temped every day.

Is this a sin? How can I control it?

Thank you for everything

Best Regards”

First, let me say that masturbation has been around for a long time, since the Egyptian civilization. And since it is prevalent among men, surely the Bible must have some thing to talk about rather than remain silent. Many Christians have misquoted Bible by using Gen 38:9,10 - when Onan spilled his semen on the ground and so the LORD put him to death. Hence, it is thought that masturbation, which the Bible states as “spilling the semen” is a sin. But actually, the LORD put Onan to death not because he masturbated but that he did not fulfill his duty as brother in the Levirate marriage.

OK, so we need to look elsewhere in the Bible where it talks about “spilling the semen”.

In Leviticus chapter 15, it says:

¹⁶ “‘When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening. ¹⁷ Any clothing or leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be unclean till evening. ¹⁸ When a man has sexual relations with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both of them must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening.

¹⁹ “‘When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening.

In the Book of Leviticus, we are called to be Holy. Now, if you read this book carefully, you will notice that there are 4 Levels of sanctification:

(1)   Holiness

(2)   Clean

(3)   Unclean

(4)   Sinfulness

There is much more to discuss on the Book of Leviticus, to help you to understand about sanctification but I will omit it here.

To avoid taking this passage out of context, let us first look at the structure of Lev 15 to understand what the writer is trying to tell the reader. This is a chiastic structure:

V1-15  men abnormal discharge – sin and burnt offering required

            V16-17 men emission of semen

                        V18 couple sexual relationship   

            V19-24 woman’s monthly period

V25-30 women abnormal discharge – sin and burnt offering required

V31-33 closing warning to keep these sexual regulations

A few things can be observed from this short passage of Leviticus 15.

• Abnormal bodily discharge is sin. Normal bodily discharge is uncleanness. There is a different between sin and unclean. If a person sins, he must offer a sin offering to get back into fellowship with God and with the community. Otherwise he will be cut off and classified as “not my people”. Whereas, an unclean person is still God’s people but he cannot involved in rituals, priestly duties/services or participate in festivals. The time factor will restore his or her uncleanness to cleanness. Sometime, it is one evening. Sometime it is 7 days depending on the severity.
• A man who emits his semen has an equivalent to a woman who has her monthly period. Both are put in the passage and context. [In fact, a woman’s period cause her to be unclean for 7 days, while a man who emits his semen is only unclean till the evening]. There is no requirement for sin offering.
• A single man who emits his semen is similar to a couple (man and wife) having sexual relations, both are doing the same function – one doing alone, another doing with his wife. Both are considered unclean till the evening. Again, no sin offering mentioned.

So, base on this passage, the Bible is clear, masturbation is not a sin. But, it is an unclean action. And this action is due to our sexual behavior which God created us to be so. For the woman, she will have her monthly period; for a married man, he may have sex with his wife; and for a single man, he may masturbate. All these are unclean actions for a short period of time due to our sexual created behavior.

Another thought: I see masturbation as a “sexual-tension valve” and not a “sex toy”. A sex toy is when you engage in it daily or regularly and it becomes an addiction. Then you choose to constantly live in an “unclean” state, always out of worship, service and walk with the LORD. This is bad and it will soon cause you to drift away from your faith. On the other hand, when it is a “sexual-tension valve”, then when the sexual temptation is high, as in the case of Samson (in the opening email), then by doing an unclean act and stay unclean for an evening, you get the tension released and is once again back to usefulness for the LORD. From medical research, if a man is prevented from having sexual release, then the seminal fluids can back up, causing increased sexual tension and physical discomfort. It also increases the risk of prostate inflammation. This might explain why priests who practice celibacy and who view masturbation as sinful have a higher rate of prostate cancer.

The question then, how serious is an unclean action or person?

A Clean or unclean person in the Old Testament is usually referred to the kind of food the person eat or the state of mentality he is in. If he is sick, disease, or touches a dead person, he is unclean. Semen and blood are all life or life reproductive fluid, so when they are discharged they are dead. We worship a living God, and we must be alive not dead in order to worship him. So an unclean (“dead”) person is to stay behind and not go forward to God, so to speak. As a Christian, then, we would always want to be spiritually alive and not spiritually dead most of our time.

What about lust as in Matthew 5:28? When a man masturbates, he thinks about naked woman and have fantasy, isn’t that sin?

A man can lust after a woman without masturbation and that is sin according to Mat 5:28. Also, a man can masturbate without lust and that is not a sin but an unclean action as according to Lev 15:16. Sexual fantasy is not lust. Fantasy is imagination or day dreaming.

In Richard Foster’s book, Money, Sex & Power, page 120, he explained the difference between lust and sexual fantasy as:

When the sense of excitement conceives a plan to use a person, when attraction turns into scheme, we have crossed beyond erotic excitement into spiritual adultery. Lust is an untamed, inordinate sexual passion to possess, and this is a very different thing from the usual erotic awareness experience in sexual fantasy.

Hence, the first thing that believers should do is to refuse to bear the heavy burden of self-condemnation for every erotic image that floats through their minds. Sometimes sexual fantasies signify a longing for intimacy; at other times, they express attraction toward a beautiful and winsome person. Sexual fantasies can mean many things, and we must not automatically identify them with lust.

It is also helpful to recognize the positive function of fantasy. Through fantasy we are able to hold reality at bay while we allow the imagination to roam freely. Mature people are able to utilize the imagination without ever losing touch with the real world. Some of the world’s finest music and greatest inventions have come in this way.

***

Having stated what Richard Foster wrote, I want to clarify that we Christians should not constantly live in the world of sexual fantasy. Please, get Real!

What about the guilt and conscience pricking after masturbation? Isn’t that sin?

Ok, if you have guilt about masturbation, then “whatever is done not in faith, it is sin (Rom 14:23)”. So if you feel guilty and think God sees it as sin, then don’t do it. “For we walk by faith, not by sight” (2Cor 5:7)

What about society acceptance?

We always have to remember, however, that we live in a complicated society, where there are many differing opinions about every subject, particularly sexual ones. In figuring out his own relationship to the society he lives in, a boy may find it helpful to identify the major attitudes toward masturbation:

1. Traditional people, and a boy’s parents may be among them, believe that masturbation is sinful in every case, and harmful to health as well, although relatively few people believe it is harmful as nearly everyone believed it to be only half a century ago.
2. Some people with strong religious beliefs think that masturbation only distracts people from the true ideal of sexuality, which is a relationship in marriage with another person, usually for purposes of reproduction.
3. People who think of themselves as neutral about masturbation say it is a subject that requires further study, but meanwhile don’t want to encourage it as something that is positively good.
4. People who take a liberal view of masturbation, or what the psychologists call a “permissive” view, hold that it is not only harmless but is positively good and healthy, and should be encouraged because it helps young people to grow up sexually in a natural way.

(Quoted from Wardell B. Pomeroy’s book: Boys and Sex page 50)

So, let respect each other opinion and keep it private just like a married couple sexual relationship. We need not brag or post our sexual encounter on the Youtube.

However, let me caution you against addiction to masturbation. Just like most things, masturbation can turn into an addiction. If you find yourself daily masturbating or regularly in sexual fantasy, then you can be reasonably sure that you have a sexual addiction. Paul said, "'Everything is permissible for me'—but I will not be mastered by anything" (1 Cor 6:12). This includes masturbation. Also, you should never use pornography to masturbate. Pornography itself is a sin and degrading to God’s creation who created woman also in the image of God.

For me, after I was baptized with the Holy Spirit, the spiritual power has help me to break free from sexual thoughts and so overcoming masturbation is no longer an issue. Praise God.

My suggestion to all Christian brothers is, seek the baptism of the Holy Spirit!

Finally, let me end with 1 Cor 10:13 – “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man, God is faithful and HE will not let you be tempted beyond your strength. But with the temptation will also provide a way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

So, to all the Samson out there, if you have the power to endure it, praise God. But if you don’t have that power and need to release the “sexual-tension valve”, do so in your privacy and avoid falling into lust, sin or addiction.

PS. The above sharing are just my personal thoughts. You may disagree with me. Feel free to comment or talk to me if you need some discussion.

Agape