While packing my cupboard, I found this essay that I had written while serving my National Service:
My First Day in Officer Cadet School
It was 19th July 1979, the day I was called to
serve the nation, to train to defend her. It was a day for me with mixed
feelings – to be proud to serve perform my duty as a loyal citizen, but also
fearful of the toughness that might inflict on me during training. Thoughts of
what the days ahead of me flooded through my minds, some of which I had
gathered from friends who were in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF).
I hurried down to the Central Manpower Base (CMB) and found
many youths who were lining up. Each of their faces showed different
expressions. We were then led into a room where we took an oath. I couldn’t
remember what I said but on reciting the oath, I knew that I had to give my
life to the nation. It reminded me of the important of an independent nation
having her own citizen to defend her. After leaving that room, I was led to a
side where an officer clipped a paper badge on my pocket. There, I knew I was
posted to the Officer Cadet School (OCS). All I knew was that I will be going
to train as an officer in the SAF, who would later call to lead men to be
soldiers. Only thirty of us was selected to OCS that day.
We got up a truck and went directly to the General Equipment
Base to collect all issued equipment. After this, our journey to SAFTI/OCS
continued. When we stepped into the Singapore Arm Forces Training Institute
(SAFTI) gate, I noticed the motto of SAFTI – TOWARDS EXCELLENCE. Straight away,
I was reminded of excelling in all things. I wonder whether I could make it
through in these nine and a half months. Excellency in the army is difficult
especially when the discipline is high and moral low.
When we were in OCS, we were placed into various companies.
It was lunch time, and I was told by an officer to have my lunch first before
reporting to him. At the cook house, we had to queue up food according to
platoons. I realized that eating was even restricted and had to be done in an
orderly manner. After lunch, I had my hair cut. It doesn’t give me any surprise
as I knew what sort of hair-cut I was going to have. I then went to see the
Platoon Warrant Officer (PWO) who gave me my room number and issued me the
necessary cleaning kits. I then hurriedly changed into Physical Training (PT)
kit and joined the rest in their lesson. They were studying the various parts
of a rifle. I was at a loss as I was new, but I kept silent. I knew some of the
cadets in my platoon and manage to get help from them. Thereafter, everything we did must be done in
a hurry. Such was the life as a trainee in the SAF.
At night, we were told to queue up to collect our pay. I
went into an instructor’s office and was immediately fired by the instructor
for failing to greet him. I was shouted and scolded with all sort of words,
with him showing his ‘pips’ on his shoulder. I answered him by telling him that
I was new but he showed no interest at my naïve. It was my first time being
shouted, verbally abused and threatened. Later, I was called into another
instructor’s office for an interview. Here, again I failed to ask permission to
be admitted into his room. He, however, knew that I was new and taught me how
to ask permission for entry into instructor’s room. I was told to practice it. After
this, he told that in OCS, we had to learn anything fast; great demands were
expected of us. He then questioned me on my family background. When I told him
that I had no sister (which he questioned me), he answered in a sarcastic manner.
He ridicule me on why my parents didn’t like girls. In my heart, I felt what a
silly question an officer can ask. Is it my parents the one who decide whether
the child is to be a boy or girls? Who doesn’t like to have a family with
brothers and sisters? However, I didn’t answer him. He then questioned me whether
I like girls or not. I didn’t understand what he meant but I answered that
having a girlfriend wouldn’t cause any harm. He then continued to ask me
whether I had any. I answered, “No”. He then shouted a question at me, “Why
not?”. It made me feel funny that why I should have a girlfriend at this stage –
just after studies and transit into National Service; that I should have other
commitments than to complete one phase of life after another. I felt like
asking, “Why yes?” but I kept quiet. Things began to change when he asked me
whether I was in Section 4. I told him that I was in Section 1, and the PWO had
put me in the wrong room. Immediately I was fired to get lost.
In the barrack, I asked my room-mates what were some things that I needed to do. They helped me, but reluctantly.
Lying in bed, various thoughts flooded my mind. Firstly, it’s
about the instructors. I admired them for their “pip”. They were able to strive
through their cadet training to earn their ranks. Their training were tougher
that ours, I presumed. But I also have negative thoughts on them. They seem to
press us too hard and made a lot of demands. Next, my mind focus on what my
life in the army would be. Will I be able to withstand that training? Will I be
able to make through the course? Slowly as I tried to find answers to these
questions, I dosed off
****
