Every time I read about David and Jonathon, I think about their friendship. Then I think about my friendship. Or are they really my friends?
I was reading the Daily Bread online today (2Sam 1:11, 17-27)
http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2009/08/25/devotion.aspx
Saul and Jonathon had died in battle. David laments for them, more so for Jonathan, his friend whom he greatly loved.
What then is friendship? Isaac Lim says it right – the bottom line of friendship is trust. http://izinmid.spaces.live.com/?lc=18441
(1) Friends trust one another
Read what Isaac wrote:
Who can we talk to? Who can we trust? Sometimes we want to talk to new people, to connect, to help them know more about us, but yet some of the things we tell them can be easily used against us. We want to have friends whom we can trust with the going ons of our lives, we want to share our struggles and pain, and yet sometimes, even people we think we know and can trust aren't exactly who we think they are. I guess sometimes we need to take a little risk to know if someone can be trusted. It isn't easy to open up; clamming up is so much easier.
David trust Jonathon that he will not betray him to his father, after Jonathon visits David while he is on the run from his father (1Sam 23:16-18). Without that trust, David might be wondering whether Jonathon is going home to tell Saul of David’s whereabout.
Without trust, there is no friendship.
(2) Friends rejoice and weep with one another.
When someone says (or blog) it’s their birthday, we greet, “Happy Birthday!” When she blogs about her good results, we congratulates her. When I read others' blog, I also like to know whether people care to comments on their blog. It is the comments arena that reveals how strong the bloggers’ friendships are. There was this simple blog with just ordinary postings - joy and pain that she goes through. But, everytime she share some things, her friends will write comments to encourage her. Blogging has become her motivation. In this aspect, of encouragement, I think non-Christian's blog fair better. Maybe I am wrong ...
(3) Friends are tolerant with each other
Not too long ago, a person from the English congregation called me and voiced displeasure at me because I did not do something. Maybe it was because I am an English Committee member in BPCES, I am expected to do what other can choose not to do. OK, so much about friendship! I began to see church members as … just church members, not friends anymore. Hence, I need to scrutinize who is reading my blog.
What then is true friendship?
I was reading the Daily Bread online today (2Sam 1:11, 17-27)
http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2009/08/25/devotion.aspx
Saul and Jonathon had died in battle. David laments for them, more so for Jonathan, his friend whom he greatly loved.
What then is friendship? Isaac Lim says it right – the bottom line of friendship is trust. http://izinmid.spaces.live.com/?lc=18441
(1) Friends trust one another
Read what Isaac wrote:
Who can we talk to? Who can we trust? Sometimes we want to talk to new people, to connect, to help them know more about us, but yet some of the things we tell them can be easily used against us. We want to have friends whom we can trust with the going ons of our lives, we want to share our struggles and pain, and yet sometimes, even people we think we know and can trust aren't exactly who we think they are. I guess sometimes we need to take a little risk to know if someone can be trusted. It isn't easy to open up; clamming up is so much easier.
David trust Jonathon that he will not betray him to his father, after Jonathon visits David while he is on the run from his father (1Sam 23:16-18). Without that trust, David might be wondering whether Jonathon is going home to tell Saul of David’s whereabout.
Without trust, there is no friendship.
(2) Friends rejoice and weep with one another.
When someone says (or blog) it’s their birthday, we greet, “Happy Birthday!” When she blogs about her good results, we congratulates her. When I read others' blog, I also like to know whether people care to comments on their blog. It is the comments arena that reveals how strong the bloggers’ friendships are. There was this simple blog with just ordinary postings - joy and pain that she goes through. But, everytime she share some things, her friends will write comments to encourage her. Blogging has become her motivation. In this aspect, of encouragement, I think non-Christian's blog fair better. Maybe I am wrong ...
(3) Friends are tolerant with each other
Not too long ago, a person from the English congregation called me and voiced displeasure at me because I did not do something. Maybe it was because I am an English Committee member in BPCES, I am expected to do what other can choose not to do. OK, so much about friendship! I began to see church members as … just church members, not friends anymore. Hence, I need to scrutinize who is reading my blog.
What then is true friendship?
7 comments:
Refering to para 3 on friendship. So sad to hear that you lost trust in that 'friend' who ticked you off for not doing something. What if this church member is a sibling? Wld we doubt the relationship if a sibling scolds us? Well.. friends also got categories. Starting from acquaintance to ordinary friends to good friends to Best Friends. You think it is easy to find a Best friend? Trust me.. not possible. Very difficult to find such a 'friend'. Wld a friend die for you? donate an organ for you? give his savings to help you? Tell me where to find such a friend. I think only Jesus is the Only True Friend if you ask me.
There was once, I told a church member, "Eh, you are my Sunday friend. Because we only meet up on Sundays and chit chat and laugh. Then the rest of the days I dont hear from you."
Statistics show that there are about 5000 divorce cases each year. That means 10,000 people fell out of their marriage or friendhip. When these 10,000 ppl married, ask them who are their best friends? Most would say 'My wife or my husband, or my lover, or my darling etc..
Well, ask them after their divorce...
So what is friendship? Not everlasting also right?
I agree with Uncle Chye Keng's 2nd comment about the relationships in bethany - they start and end on sunday. that's it. u don't hear from other church members during the rest of the week. sometimes i don't get how we portray ourselves as a family church with a small congregation where everyone knows each other. truth is, on sunday we sit as far apart from each other as possible to keep a distance (the only time we sat so close to each other for service was when we used the Grace Auditorium and i'm sure we all felt uncomfortable to a large extent, i know i did! just not used to it!)
Uncle Mark, yup i just don't get how people are so critical of leaders really- we are only human after all - we get slammed, blamed for every mistake, and others have such unreasonably high expectations of us that it's so stifling. yup, i realized that i have officially given up on bethany. i am just coming to church for the sermons and a few friendships, if not, there is nth else that motivates me to stay on.
oh by the way, Isaac can't access your blog because of censorship in the country where he is located now.
my birthday!!!!11
Hi Wei Lin and CK,
Thanks for sharing. Everybody is entitled to their opinions and perspective. I just have to separate others opinions from facts. I cannot be at every places every time and pleases everybody.
Life has to continue whether people are pleased or not.
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