How Heavy is My Cross?

Last Friday night, I left the cell group meeting with a very heavy heart.

Hearing one member shared about the struggle of her Christian friend whom I shall call Ginny (can’t hear clearly her name) who has a daughter born with severe intellectual disability. As a result, the daughter could not speak, or do anything. Her daily food is only soy milk is getting very costly now that the girl has grown so big at the age of 15. Ginny has given up her job to take care of her. Every night, both parents have to wake up to clear the child’s throat of phlegm. The girl also has regular visits to the hospital and because of her size, has to be brought there by an ambulance. The family also has 2 younger children.

“Why Lord? Why must Ginny and her husband go through such a heavy struggle daily with this child? Isn’t life very unfair?” I asked silently with a tint of sadness and anger. At that moment, I felt the Spirit prompting: “The Cross”. As I searched through my memory bank, Luke 9:23 came to mind:

And He (Jesus) said to all, “If any man would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

“It is a daily cross 24/7, but isn’t that a very heavy cross?” I protested.

“Why so heavy?” I puzzled, without expecting an answer.

“Worthy” came the reply.

How heavy the cross that the LORD wants us to bear is measured by how worthy HE sees His children’s ability to bear it. God has considered them worthy and they have soldiered on with this cross for 15 years and many more. If the child is their cross, then we need not discuss whether this child will go to heaven or not, as the cell group did last night. Silently, I prayed for this family that God’s graciousness and strength be with the family as they faithfully bear this cross the LORD has laid on them.

Thinking of Ginny and their cross made me pondered over the difficult situations I am presently going through. Are they also considered my “cross” that I need to bear? No matter how heavy they are now seem so much easy to bear.

How heavy a cross am I able to bear?

What attitude should I have when faced with tremendous suffering and trial? Will I be able to response like what the Apostle James said – “Count it all joy, when you met with all kind of trials …” (Jas 1:2-4) 

It was a great lesson that the Holy Spirit is teaching me. I am humbled.

Agape!