It has been exactly 4 years since my family left Bethany
Presbyterian Church (BPC) and worships at Riverlife Church. So much has changed
…
Looking back, one may ask why I have left in the first
place. At that time, my children were beginning their teenage lives. The way I
saw BPC youth ministry then, it was clear that my children will not be able to
have a strong spiritual foundation. At one stage, during my Bible class, I
asked a group of youth whose parents are deacon and elder of the church; “If
your parents give you the liberty to decide whether to leave this class or sit
here to discuss the Bible; what will you choose?” Almost unanimously, all said
that they will not come to church. At that moment, I started to ask myself
whether my children feel that way and the answer was clear. I need to provide a
new spiritual environment for my children.
4 years has passed, I thank God that my children are very
much motivated spiritually. And when their spirit is right with God, their
lives are also on the right path. Their studies improved tremendously. They are
faithful in prayer and devotion. They would seek out others who are down and
pray for them and with them. I often received SMS and messages asking me to
pray for them. Whenever things happen, their first thought is to seek God. That
is really a huge encouragement to me. They are also more involved in the
church, sometimes to the extent of over zealousness at the expenses of their
studies. This can be a challenge to us as parents on guiding them to set the
right priority. This may be a conflict at times. It is like a runner who wants
to train and run very fast and far in the shortest time possible, not
understanding that they will get injured. While the coach (aka parents) who asks
them to moderate their training. The zealous runner will see the coach (aka
parents) as lack of passion. That said, my children have always been an
encouragement to me in their walk with God. They are now learning to listen to
God. Theology and spirituality goes hand-in-hand and I am glad they understand
this.
…
As for me, even though I have worshipped God at this new
place for 4 years; I still could not call it my “oikos”. I am still a stranger
there. Even though the church is more than 3000 strong, we hardly have
opportunity to build relationship except within the cell group (less than 25
people). This is even so when we attended their church camp. There is no
interaction. It’s like 4 Sunday worship and sermons squeeze together, no Bible
discussion, no devotional time.
When I first started attending Riverlife for Sunday worship,
it was much a loner. This gives me a lot of time before worship services for
silent mediation and preparation. Soon, I cultivated a heart to be still before
God (Psa 46:10) and to be eager to listen to HIM and not to talk (Ecc 5:1-2).
As such, I usually enter into a time of worship whereby the Holy Spirit would
reveal Himself to me during the services. I began to understand what Jesus said
that those who worship God must worship in Spirit and in truth.
Other than worship, my spiritual growth is very much left to
myself. As such, I am now a bit slack. I used to do my own personal Bible
Study. Now that I am in this new place with no assignment, the motivation to be
grounded in the WORD has stalled. So in 2015, I need to rejuvenate my love for
God’s Word. I am starting with the 4 Gospels.
Moving ahead, I am seeking God for direction – should I stay
or move on? Recently, during Michelle and Henry’s wedding in BPC, I still feel
a tinge of unwelcome from a certain group of people as I crossed their path. Their
body language of uneasiness and cold side-glance indicated than I am still not
welcome. Even though I have left BPC, I still keep the door open if God wants
me to return. I am still a member of the church and have been faithful in
tithing. And so, after attending the wedding, it seems that the “door” is still
closed.
In everything, God makes beautiful in His own time (Ecc
3:11)
Agape
