Friday, January 2, 2015

Life after Bethany … What’s next?

It has been exactly 4 years since my family left Bethany Presbyterian Church (BPC) and worships at Riverlife Church. So much has changed …

Looking back, one may ask why I have left in the first place. At that time, my children were beginning their teenage lives. The way I saw BPC youth ministry then, it was clear that my children will not be able to have a strong spiritual foundation. At one stage, during my Bible class, I asked a group of youth whose parents are deacon and elder of the church; “If your parents give you the liberty to decide whether to leave this class or sit here to discuss the Bible; what will you choose?” Almost unanimously, all said that they will not come to church. At that moment, I started to ask myself whether my children feel that way and the answer was clear. I need to provide a new spiritual environment for my children.

4 years has passed, I thank God that my children are very much motivated spiritually. And when their spirit is right with God, their lives are also on the right path. Their studies improved tremendously. They are faithful in prayer and devotion. They would seek out others who are down and pray for them and with them. I often received SMS and messages asking me to pray for them. Whenever things happen, their first thought is to seek God. That is really a huge encouragement to me. They are also more involved in the church, sometimes to the extent of over zealousness at the expenses of their studies. This can be a challenge to us as parents on guiding them to set the right priority. This may be a conflict at times. It is like a runner who wants to train and run very fast and far in the shortest time possible, not understanding that they will get injured. While the coach (aka parents) who asks them to moderate their training. The zealous runner will see the coach (aka parents) as lack of passion. That said, my children have always been an encouragement to me in their walk with God. They are now learning to listen to God. Theology and spirituality goes hand-in-hand and I am glad they understand this.


As for me, even though I have worshipped God at this new place for 4 years; I still could not call it my “oikos”. I am still a stranger there. Even though the church is more than 3000 strong, we hardly have opportunity to build relationship except within the cell group (less than 25 people). This is even so when we attended their church camp. There is no interaction. It’s like 4 Sunday worship and sermons squeeze together, no Bible discussion, no devotional time.

When I first started attending Riverlife for Sunday worship, it was much a loner. This gives me a lot of time before worship services for silent mediation and preparation. Soon, I cultivated a heart to be still before God (Psa 46:10) and to be eager to listen to HIM and not to talk (Ecc 5:1-2). As such, I usually enter into a time of worship whereby the Holy Spirit would reveal Himself to me during the services. I began to understand what Jesus said that those who worship God must worship in Spirit and in truth.

Other than worship, my spiritual growth is very much left to myself. As such, I am now a bit slack. I used to do my own personal Bible Study. Now that I am in this new place with no assignment, the motivation to be grounded in the WORD has stalled. So in 2015, I need to rejuvenate my love for God’s Word. I am starting with the 4 Gospels.

Moving ahead, I am seeking God for direction – should I stay or move on? Recently, during Michelle and Henry’s wedding in BPC, I still feel a tinge of unwelcome from a certain group of people as I crossed their path. Their body language of uneasiness and cold side-glance indicated than I am still not welcome. Even though I have left BPC, I still keep the door open if God wants me to return. I am still a member of the church and have been faithful in tithing. And so, after attending the wedding, it seems that the “door” is still closed.

In everything, God makes beautiful in His own time (Ecc 3:11)

Agape

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