Sunday, July 26, 2009

Fitting into the mould of Society? – Just Be myself


Different people climb the corporate ladder differently.

Some make it rich by shrewd investment – like Warren Buffet. A few by backstabbing. But most may be by ways of engaging the society, like what Wei Lin’s comment on my 16 July’s post. There is nothing wrong in that mould so long as our faith in Christ is not compromised.

On reflecting about myself …

I am not exactly a likeable person.

I am probably that person whom Wei Lin commented: “people don’t exactly care two hoots about you”. I am OK with that.

Yah, I don’t try to make an impression, not outspoken, not confident. Just ordinarily, very ordinary. If there is a mould that society wants me to fit into, I would probably be a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.

Why?

I try to live as transparent as I can and let other see me as I am – my strength and also my ugly sides. I don’t intrude into people’s private space or engage in strategic talks. But if you share, I’ll listen with confidentiality.

I don’t have many friends, not even a few.

What I value most is trust. “A Scout is to be trusted.” That is the first Scout Law I learned and obeyed.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
Profuse are the kisses of an enemy
(Prov 27:6 RSV)

2 comments:

Wei Lin said...

thanks for addressing my issue Uncle Mark! hmm..u mentioned that u try to be as transparent as possible, but isn't this at the expense of being vulnerable i.e. people can use ur weaknesses against u or judge u for those? i think a reason why people (in BPCES for instance) dare not share about their lives and problems and struggles is because they don't want others to judge them or to spread their secrets and gossip about them. have u ever had someone use ur weakness or vulnerability against u?

Mark Lim Teng Lye said...

Wei Lin,
Thanks for your comments and yah, it is true that frank and honest sharing of one's life is vulnerable. So such sharing should always start with those who are in God's family, like your own BSG or cell group. That is where I learnt when I first joined the Navigators. Those were the best days of my life. BPCES can never reach that level of sharing.
Once you learn to open up, you learn to practice accountability and soon you learn to live a victorious life for Christ. That is when you find that your witnessing and testimony is genuine without any pretentious. Like Isaac once talk about accountability group in his mission group. Only frank and honest sharing can survive an accountability group. No way can BPCES start such a group.

If Christians want to judge me or gossip or spread secrets, that is their problems with God. I am ok with that. Of course, we need to be "wise as a serpent, humble as a dove" in our sharing.


I have personally encountable a situation where a sister-in-Christ told me this like what you wrote. Also, there is another sister-in-Christ, after hearing me share of my weaknesses, came to me privately and had a long talk, sharing with me all her hurts and thank me that my sharing have help her to open up for the LORD. You never know how God can use us for HIS glory and help other to free from their fear and bitterness!!


Agape