The Importance of a conversation

When you meet an old friend, what do you talk about?

For me, I would like to know how the friend is getting on in life and what he is now pursuing. Also, how he has grown through the years. If he is a Christian, has he grown in the LORD? Certainly, I would avoid discussing general issues not related to him or talking about sport or other people’s life, which can become a gossip.

Last night, I met some old church friends at Benedict’s 21^st birthday. It’s nice to catch up with Casey and Alice for kindly inviting my family. We also talk to Jenny and Lily and many others. It is nice to meet up with them.

But one conversation was not so good and that taught me about striking a meaningful conversation. It so happen to come from the pastor of the church. When he saw me the first thing he asked, “So where have Dr. Philip Huan gone to?” I was actually not surprised of his weak interpersonal skill. Instead of asking how we are or talk about my spiritual life or the things I like doing, he talk about someone I vaguely know. Those who know me will talk about my jogging which I enjoyed doing. All my Poly and University friends know this. Those who are my close Christian friends will talk about our daily devotion or our walk with the LORD. These are the things I enjoyed sharing and encouraging one another.

Yet when I met the pastor, he is more interested in the former pastor of Riverlife Church, Dr Philip Huan, which left shortly after I visited Riverlife Church. I had only heard about one or two of his sermon before he left to set up another Church. Then the pastor told me something which I have no interest in. “Philip Huan, when he was pasturing All Soul Church, did not want to conduct any funeral service.” Why was he telling me this? Is he insinuating anything? Or is he gossiping about something. I would certainly grade that this is the worst conversation I had with a pastor. I did not say much and fortunately Rev Dr Tan came and so I roped her in to a conversation that is more enriching.

Last night, as I was back home and reflecting about the rendezvous, most of the old friends are still cordial to my family. Unfortunately, I still feel that the pastor communication skill have not much improved through the years. Before I left Bethany in 2010, he would always talk to me about other people and things of similar nature. When I visited Bethany in 2011, again it was the same talk, about Rev Vincent Lun, another pastor of Riverlife Church. Now, it is Dr Philip Huan. If only, he had just discuss how we have been growing in the LORD or what Bible passage I am reading or studying right now, my impression of him might have improved. Certainly, I would expect a pastor to talk to me about spiritual things than to gossip about another pastor. It seems that he does not know me even though I have been serving as a Christian Education Co-coordinator in Bethany for many, many years. How sad.

I have learnt about interpersonal skill yesterday, thank you pastor!

Proverb 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.

Agape