Be careful how we speak

 Before you speak, THINK:

T~ is it True?

H ~ is it Helpful?

I ~ is it Inspiring?

N ~ is it Necessary?

K ~ is it Kind?

By speaking, I should also include writing, blogging, and commenting. At the heart of it all, what and how we speak reveal our character. So, it is important to always reflect, and feed our soul and thoughts with Truth & Love. Learning from the Bible is a good place to start. Also, we can learn from wise mentors, leaders with integrity, bosses who show exemplary characters. Observe how these people speak in private and in public, and over a long period of time, we can see their strength and weaknesses.

I remember a few years ago, when I was still working, my boss asked me to cheat and altered the data we are collecting for a project which I was working on. The test results could not meet the required specifications. We had only 2 weeks left to complete the project. Of course, the easy way out was to just obey the boss and if the cheating were found out, then I will just point my fingers at the boss. But, I told the boss that I will continue working on it until I got the project working correctly. The boss looked into my eyes and said firmly: “How?” Without hesitation, I said: “I pray to God, God will help me!” After he heard what I said, he walked away. (He is not a Christian). So, then, I was stuck with a very difficult project on hand and only left with 2 weeks to struggle it out. When alone, I really cried out to God, and “if even God, You don’t help me, I will have to resign.” When, we bring God into our situation, “the Red Sea will part and we will walk through safety”. Thank God, after much prayer and careful analysis of what went wrong, God helped me to get the project completed in time for delivery. From then on, the boss will never ask me to do anything unethical or untruthful.

A recent event in Singapore triggered me to write this post:

The political saga in Singapore of a Member of Parliament (MP) lying in a Parliament sitting, and 2+ months later had to admit to her lies, because she could not substantiated what she had said. Worst still, she also breeched the confidentiality by telling the story from a woman support’s group who encountered sexual abuse or harassment. Even without confidentiality, we don’t share sad and painful stories of others. Church Cell Groups are also such that we keep all the sharing of stories private. What is more damaging now is that she said her party leader told her to “bring her lies to the grave”? (Meaning: she should keep covering up her lies even after she dies). Of course, the party leader vehemently denied saying that. As there was no witness, it’s now between her words and his. But the image of the Worker Party has greatly been tainted by this political saga. The first requirement of selecting political candidates is to observe how they speak and project themselves in private and in public. Perhaps, Worker Party has no put in enough time to observe their candidates before fielding them for General Elections.

Sometimes, we make mistake in choosing people. In 1 Samuel 15:35; God was sorry that He had ever made Saul as king. Jesus Christ chose Judas Iscariot as His disciple. Once we know that we have chosen the wrong person, we need to dissociate ourselves from them and not to coerce them to do even more wrong or lies.

 What lessons have I learn from this political saga?

#1. Never tell lies. Lies destroy trust and characters.

#2. Be wary of people with loose-tongues, they may also spread things about you to others.

#3. Learn to speak with facts to substantiate. Seek permission if there is a need to talk about others.

#4. Never backstab your leader. If you fall out with him, just leave amicably.

 

In our circle of friends, colleagues, church-mates, neighbours, relatives, or acquaintances, it is always good to observe how each one of us speak. Some may have loose-tongues or like to gossip and spread news, some may like to exaggerate, while others are gentle, courteous and truthful in what they say. To those that fair badly or marginally with their words, we can still maintain a cordial conversation, be polite and not appear unapproachable. Just do not put too much trust in them or reveal too much important information.

¹⁵ But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, (Ephesians 4:15)

 

Blessed Christmas!

Agape