The Dark Side of Men

Another big sex scandal has happened, similar to that of Tiger Wood.

Except that it is now in our shore – Singapore. It involved a successful Singapore film- maker who has received many awards from the Singapore government, one equivalent to the UK knighthood title. We would be calling him Sir Jack Neo, except that it is written in a Malay title: PBM. (Why would Singapore want to give a title that nobody understands??). Also, the saga gets juicier because Jack Neo portrays himself as a moralist.

I would not be writing this, if he did not profess to be attending a Christian church. His whole family is attending City Harvest Church, the largest church in Singapore with a congregation of about 33,000. So, even those who claim to go to church and worship God also fall by this deadly sin.

After so many sex scandals – Tiger Wood, John Terry, Ashley Cole and now Jack Neo, it’s high time we men be honest with ourselves. We all have a dark side inside us. Let’s not pretend. I like Dr. Jason Wolfe’s website cartoon (Humorous but actually true)

http://www.wolfescape.com/Humour/MenWomen.htm




No, I am not blogging to attack any of these people but to reflect as a man, what God is speaking to me about all these sex scandals like I am reading from the Bible in 1Samuel Chapter 11.

First, whatever happened to them can also happen to me when the circumstances are right. Even the most godly man is not exempted from such temptation. King David, the man after God’s heart fell into it. There is another man who also faced the same temptation but overcame it strongly with the strength of God. It is Joseph, the son of Jacob in Gen 39.

The young Joseph of not more than 30 years old, when tempted with sexual sin, replied: “How then could I do this great wickedness and sin against God” (Gen 39:9). Sexual sin is not just a sin against my wife, my family or other girls. It is a sin against God.

So what is the different in circumstances? One has all he can get – a king – rich and powerful and lives only to please himself. Another is a slave, struggling in an alien land, serving to please his master. So the circumstances are when one gets money (lot of it) and fame, then the sexual dark side starts to creep out. Even if we are not rich and famous, this dark side is still in all men.

So what should men do?

Unfortunately, most Christian men avoid talking about it all together. We want to keep secrets. And so our discussions are never personal, always about politics, economy, careers, work, hobbies …, never about our inner self, never transparent. Dr. Larry Crabb, in his book, “The Silence of Adam” calls it the monster lurking inside us, guys. And I fully agree with him that to overcome this monster, men must share secrets. Share it with one person with whom you can trust and uphold in prayer. It sure will break the chain of bondage by this monster.

I like one of his statements:
“Fathers encourage by leading the way, by walking ahead of us on the path. Brothers encourage by sharing our struggles, by walking with us.”

Isaac, our brother-in-Christ, once mentioned about the accountability group that he attended with the missionaries when serving in Yunnan, China. He wondered why our church did not have one. The truth is … we like to keep our privacy and hide our secret and dark side. But those who confess their sins and pray for one another are most often the ones on the path of overcoming this dark side. (read James 5:16)

I have much to share but will just stop here. Any of you guys who are reading this and want to have a personal talk, do feel free to call me :)